


The Valley That Met The Mountain

by ColonelChanSan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 23:07:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 24,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5516615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColonelChanSan/pseuds/ColonelChanSan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The mountain had tried so hard to reach the moon above, that it failed to notice how majestic it had become to the valley below.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Taller Than One Might Think

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kiddolane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiddolane/gifts).



> So, this is the first time I've ever done HQ Hols and also the first time I've ever done a long fic. I tend to stick to drabbles, but when Kiddolane requested "Lots and lots of mutual, slow burn, heart-rending, soul-crushing pining" with Yachi pining, and seeing they also enjoy the "earn your happy ending" trope, I ended up with. A veeeerry long fic. That took me from the moment I accepted the request right up until the very last day. It ended up being so long I broke it into chapters.
> 
> It's entirely in Yachi's perspective so I used her first name instead, and everyone else is how she refers to them, save the suffixes. 
> 
> I really, really hope you enjoy this, both the recipient and everyone else who has a read!

Hitoka never really noticed Yamaguchi at first. But then again, the first time she followed Shimizu to the gym and introduced herself to the volleyball club, it was all pretty much a blur. Hitoka was too nervous to really take in what was happening as guys crowded around her, big ones too, all looking at her excitedly and expectantly. Her anxiety created a haze in her mind and she could barely remember anyone from the club.

That was until Hinata and Kageyama randomly showed up in her classroom during break the following day, asking for her help with studying. Through Hinata’s encouraging, and Shimizu’s inspired words, Hitoka had decided to join the volleyball club as manager.

It was the first time in her life she had ever made a big decision like that for herself.

That’s when she started to get to know Yamaguchi Tadashi, the boy with the mousy hair and freckles who hung his head low and slouched, and talked timidly with a soft voice. He didn’t stand out very much, almost everyone else in the club overshadowing him with either height or charisma. Mostly charisma. It was strange, Hitoka thought, how this boy caught her interest. 

But maybe it was because he reminded her of herself.

The way he looked at Tsukishima too, his best friend— childhood friend, as she soon found out— was like that of someone looking up to something with awe and admiration, out of desire to become just like them. She doesn’t blame Yamaguchi for thinking this way of Tsukishima. He seemed cool and collected, and was tall and handsome too. She remembered girls in her class talking about a “Tsukishima-kun” in class 4 and Hitoka realized now this is who they must have been talking about. He was also very clever, and witty, with a type of confidence that was more indifference and listlessness than anything else, but his height gave him an intimidating air that contradicted his almost angelic looks.

Hitoka understood how Yamaguchi must have felt looking at Tsukishima, because she felt that way when Shimizu had first approached her to tell her about the volleyball club. Hitoka was absolutely taken by her beauty, frozen on the spot in awe over how such a gorgeous person was talking to someone like her, and the next thing she knew, she accidentally agreed to trial the manager position for the club.

Well, it all worked out in the end anyway.

Not long after she had joined, the club had already decided on a week long training camp during the holidays in Tokyo. Hitoka had looked forward to it, thinking it’d be her chance to truly see what it takes to be a manager of a volleyball club. She had learnt so much under Shimizu’s tutelage, not just about being a manager, but volleyball itself. Slowly, slowly, everyday, Hitoka took more and more pride and care in being a manager. Her clumsiness would still shine through, but it made her all the more determined to prove herself.

One hot afternoon, while handing out drink bottles to the team, she passed one over to Yamaguchi and found herself staring up at him in awe.

“You’re taller than I thought,” she said, stepping closer and holding her hand up to compare heights. She guessed it was because he was always next to Tsukishima, who was the tallest in the club, so Yamaguchi never really seemed so tall by comparison. But standing in front of him now, she could see he really was pretty tall, taller than average, and while Hitoka would typically be intimidated by height, considering how small she was, she was just amazed.

Yamaguchi seemed taken aback at first, his cheeks dusted a light pink, and sheepishly scratched the back of his neck.

“Yeah, I mean, I’m about the same height as Kageyama, but I guess cos I’m kinda wimpish, I seem shorter than what I am,” he said with an almost-sad tone.

Hitoka gasped in shock. That wasn't what she meant at all! She fell to the ground on her hands and knees and apologised profusely. Yamaguchi panicked in turn, frantically trying to reassure Hitoka and apologizing as well. Hitoka felt awful for making Yamaguchi apologize and even went as far as to attempt to bury herself in the mud, because she was not fit to be a human being. This went on for a while. Once she finally got back up, she noticed she was covered in mud, and her less-than-becoming appearance made her embarrassed. She was almost going to apologize again, but Yamaguchi silently handed a towel to her. Hitoka was first surprised at the gesture, but took it graciously, mumbling her thanks and not making eye contact.

“It’s okay,” Yamaguchi said, and Hitoka finally looked up. He was smiling a soft smile, a kind smile. Hitoka smiled back.

Yamaguchi waved his goodbye and returned to the rest of the team.

Hitoka continued smiling to herself as she cleaned up the mud, watching him from the corner of her eye.

The training camp continued on like normal, but Hitoka had noticed a shift in Yamaguchi. In both him and Tsukishima, individually and in their relationship. One night, Hitoka saw Yamaguchi run after Tsukishima, shouting his name, and after that, Hitoka wasn’t sure what happened. But when Yamaguchi returned he seemed a little dazed, like he had just been on a ride at a theme park and was a little bewildered from it.

Just what had happened exactly between those two?

It worried Hitoka. She wouldn’t be able to handle it if they were fighting as well. She was already dealing with Kageyama and Hinata, still uneasy from witnessing their punch-up, but more upset at the fact they still hadn’t made up.

Yamaguchi seemed unsure when he asked Hinata if he saw Tsukishima as a rival, and despite Hinata’s unwavering answer, Yamaguchi didn’t seem that convinced.

“If Hinata-kun and Tsukishima-kun are rivals, that’d be like the sun versus the moon, isn’t?” Hitoka said to Yamaguchi, explaining the reasoning by the meanings of the kanji in their names.

“It’d be great if that was the case…” Yamaguchi said, and Hitoka looked at him. She wanted to ask what Yamaguchi and Tsukishima had talked about, what had happened to bring all this on, but instead she kept quiet, just watching him as he quietly contemplated something with a slight frown.

Suddenly he turned back to Hitoka.

“I’m going to go practice some more serves, so see ya.”

Hitoka nodded. “See you.”

The next day however, Hitoka noticed something different about Tsukishima. During the practice match against Fukurodani, for the first time since Hitoka had joined the club, Tsukishima felt just as intense as the rest of them, just as determined, and when his attempted kill block scared the Fukurodani ace into a feint, despite Fukurodani scoring, it felt like Karasuno had scored the point instead. Tsukishima had changed, slightly, and when he glared at Hinata from across the court, Hitoka noticed Yamaguchi’s reaction. He seemed surprised, but then relaxed, all the tension from last night lifting from his shoulders.

So that’s what it was all about.

Yamaguchi was worried about where Tsukishima stood with volleyball, as was everyone else. But now it seemed like no one had to worry anymore.

The training camp eventually drew to a close and everyone had said their goodbyes. On the way to the bus that was waiting to take Karasuno home, a hairbrush had fallen out of Hitoka’s bag, which she swore she had zipped up, but in her haste had probably forgotten to. She made a scramble to pick it up, embarrassed she didn’t realize her bag was unzipped, but before she could grab it, a large hand had picked it up for her.

“Here you go, Yachi-san,” Yamaguchi said with a smile as he handed the hairbrush back to Hitoka.

“Ah, thank you…” she said shyly, tucking it back into her bag. Yamaguchi smiled one last time before he walked past her to catch up with Tsukishima. Something caught her eye then, and she turned to notice, tilting her head in slight awe.

Yamaguchi was ahead of her, talking with Tsukishima. Something about him seemed different than before.

She knew Yamaguchi was tall, but had he always been that tall?


	2. Birthday Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene in the last chapter where Yachi notices that Yamaguchi is actually pretty tall comes from one of the novels, the third one I believe? But I could only find a summary and not a direct translation, so the dialogue is mostly made up, based on the summary I read.

The Spring High preliminaries occurred a week after the training camp had ended and Karasuno had made it through. The excitement of Hitoka finally witnessing her first official match still buzzed through her veins for days after. Karasuno really was an incredible team, and now she could say for sure that she was really happy she agreed to be their manager. She was filled with a sense of even more determination to help, support and manage the team to the best of her ability. She still had a lot to learn, but with Shimizu’s guidance and the support from the rest, Hitoka knew that this was something she really, really wanted to do.

She was glad she made that first big decision of her life.

August was drawing itself to a close, although the summer heat wasn’t letting up. Everyone was fired up for the play-offs in October, because winning the finals meant going to nationals in Tokyo. Karasuno had only been to nationals once, four years ago, so naturally, everyone was determined to make it again this year.

Hitoka believed they could do it.

The sweltering August heat followed into the beginning of September. Hitoka wiped her brow and straightened her skirt.

“Okay, I’m off,” she said, waving to the other first years.

“Eh? You’re not coming with us, Yachi-san?” Hinata asked. “We’re all going down to Sakanoshita to get some nikuman.”

Hitoka waved her hands in front of her apologetically. “Sorry, but I’m actually going out for dinner with my mom tonight. We do this every year for my birthday, so…”

“WHOA, IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY?!”

Hinata’s reaction caught her off-guard and she took a step back. “Um… yeah?”

“Why didn’t you say so? We could have done something for you!”

“I-It’s okay, really…”

She noticed Kageyama looking intently at her, like he agreed with Hinata but was too cool to say so. Or awkward.

“Honestly, it’s fine. There’s no need to make a fuss.”

“We could have gotten you a gift, at least…”

Hitoka looks over to Yamaguchi, who seemed to realize what he had just said and shyly averted his eyes, freckled cheeks going pink. She couldn’t help the way her heart sped up, but she guessed it was because she was just genuinely touched they all seemed to care. Hitoka glanced over to Tsukishima, who was looking away and seemed to act indifferent, but he glanced back at her and nodded once.

“Happy birthday,” he simply said.

“Yeah, happy birthday, Yachi-san!” Hinata exclaimed.

“Happy birthday,” Kageyama also said with a nod.

“Happy birthday, Yachi-san…” Yamaguchi said softly with a small smile. The same smile he always smiled at her with. That cute one.

Hitoka grinned wide and laughed. “Thanks, everyone!”

They all waved their goodbyes and promised to see each other tomorrow.

The next morning, before class had begun, Yamaguchi approached Hitoka in her classroom. She was taken aback. Yamaguchi had never really come to see her in class before. Hinata and Kageyama did it all the time, sometimes to ask if she’d like to have lunch with them, but mostly for help with studying.

But that’s not to say she didn’t welcome this visit at all.

However, for some reason, it made her feel more nervous than usual.

“Um,” Yamaguchi began, looking fidgety. “Here.”

He searched in his bag and pulled out a small box with a pink ribbon, handing it over to Hitoka. She took it graciously, although confused as to what it was for.

“It was your birthday yesterday, so I wanted to get you something,” he said. “If I had known earlier, I probably could have saved up enough to get you something better, but when I saw this I just knew I had to anyway.”

Hitoka untied the ribbon and opened the box. Inside was a ballpoint pen, a big and cute one, pink with yellow stars in different sizes, and a yellow star charm dangling from the top.

“I just thought you might like that, but I’m sorry if you—”

“Thank you!” Hitoka exclaimed, taking the pen out of the box and inspecting it further. She looked up at Yamaguchi from her desk and beamed. “Thank you so much, Yamaguchi-kun!”

She was so happy he had bothered to get her a gift. She wouldn’t have minded either way, but the fact that he actually did buy her something meant a lot to her. Plus, how did he know her weakness for cute stationary?

“It’s really cute. I’ll treasure it!” Hitoka said, holding the pen to her chest. “Thank you!”

Yamaguchi seemed startled at first, but then he returned Hitoka’s bright smile, cheeks going pink as he sheepishly scratched the back of his head.

“I’m glad you like it. I, uh, better get to class now. Happy birthday, Yachi-san!”

They waved as Yamaguchi left, and once he was out of sight, it was then that Hitoka noticed the looks from her classmates, some questioning, some knowing, and it suddenly sent her into a panic.

“I— no, he just— I mean… I mean he’s just— in the volleyball club, l-like me, so I— he, I, um, er,” she stammered and stuttered, the looks of her classmates becoming more questioning and invasive.

“Hitoka-chan has a boyfriend in the volleyball club?” one of them finally said, and Hitoka almost choked on her spit.

“NO!! WE’RE JUST FRIENDS!” She cried out a little louder than she should have and startled everyone, but then some of them chuckled.

“Well, thank god,” one of them said.

“Yeah, he was a bit plain-looking wasn’t he?” another said. “And all freckly and stuff.”

“Not very cool, even if he is in an athletic club.”

“Maybe he’s not even a regular.”

“Hitoka-chan deserves a boy much cooler than that!” They laughed. “Tsukishima-kun from class 4 on the other hand…”  
“Oh yeah, isn’t he in the volleyball club too?”

Hitoka started to feel angry. How dare they say such things about Yamaguchi? She wanted to tell them that Yamaguchi was cool, that even if he wasn’t a regular he still worked just as hard as the rest of them! And that his freckles were cute! Plus, he gave her a birthday present! He was kind and sweet! They didn’t know him like she did, because Hitoka had spent the last couple of months with him everyday at club activities. But even so, Hitoka couldn’t find the courage to speak, her voice stuck in her throat, and then the bell had rung and everyone had to gather in their seats, the end of her chance to stick up for her friend.

She apologized to Yamaguchi in her head, looking at the pen in her hand.


	3. Vs. Aoba Jousai and the Pinch Serve

The end of October had finally arrived and thus, the Spring High play-offs were underway. Hitoka had noticed that the atmosphere felt more intense than at the preliminaries. Although they only had to win two games in the preliminaries to make it through, this time they had to win four, in the course of 3 days, against the strongest teams in the prefecture.

They managed to win their first game on the first day, and their second game on the second day. There had been injuries suffered already, Kageyama receiving a bleeding nose due to a ball to the face, and their captain being completely knocked down with an injured jaw.

But nothing felt more intense or had raised anxiety levels more than finding out their next opponent was Aoba Jousai.

Hitoka wasn’t there for the first time they battled, and Shimizu explained the reason for the tension was because they had lost to them at the Inter High in June. Hitoka bit her lip, wondering if there was anything she could do to relieve the tension, when someone next to her had called for her.

She turned to find Yamaguchi looking pale, clutching his stomach like he was about to hurl, asking if she had anything for an upset stomach. Hitoka immediately rummaged frantically through the first aid kit, looking for medicine.

“Sorry, I’m kinda a little nervous…” he said.

“Oh! I’m pretty confident when it comes to handling anxiety!” Hitoka said, turning to him enthusiastically. Yamaguchi seemed confused by what she meant, so Hitoka continued. “It’s best to voice what’s got you worried! You’ll feel way more relieved if you just say it, rather than holding it in and agonizing over what to do! I often get anxiety that makes me feel like I’m gonna die so I looked into all sorts of stuff!”

“Like you’re gonna die!?” Yamaguchi responded in shock, but Hitoka just nodded. She wondered if she was a little bit too excited about anxiety, but if she could help in some way, nothing would make her happier.

With her encouragement, Yamaguchi began, albeit reluctantly. “In our Interhigh preliminaries match against Seijou… I entered the game as a pinch server for the very first time, when the team was in a tough spot… the point gap wouldn’t have been that hard to close, and if I’d been successful, we just might have won.” He tenses up, fists balling at his sides, scrunching up his face as he stares at something on the ground. “And yet, I missed…! So I keep thinking, what if that happens again…!”

“... Th…!?”

Hitoka started to shake and Yamaguchi blinked at her, confused by her reaction.

“THEY PUT EVERYTHING ON YOU IN A TOUGH SPOT AGAINST A TEAM LIKE THAT…?!” Hitoka cried out, and then she suddenly hunched over, hands over her mouth, feeling like she was gonna throw up.

“YACHI-SAN?!” Yamaguchi panicked.

“Now I’m nervous too... my heart… ! It’s gonna leap out of my throat… !!”

Yamaguchi panicked even more. “S-swallow it back down! Do you need some stomach medicine?! A-A heart tonic?! AED?!”

But Hitoka just continued to shake, unable to respond. The rest of the team started getting involved, Tanaka asking what was going on, and Nishinoya telling Yamguchi to calm down with a laugh. Azumane panicked too, asking if he should call 110, and Tsukishima calmly corrected him that it’s 119.

Yet somehow, the tension that was apparent before seemed to have lifted. Eventually, even Hitoka started to calm down.

“I’m okay… I’m okay…” she muttered, standing up straight again.

“A-Are you sure?” Yamaguchi asked, moving his hands as if he didn’t know where to put them.

“Yeah,” Hitoka said. “I told you I’m confident in handling anxiety!”

Hitoka hit her chest with a fist in triumph and Yamaguchi blinked, then relaxed, sighing in relief, hand at his heart.

Sawamura then told them it was about time they got going, and instead of anxiety and nervousness, the team had walked towards the courts confidently.

Hitoka had to admit, she was still a little nervous, and she couldn’t help but watch Yamaguchi’s back and wondered if he would be okay.

She shook her head.

Of course he’ll be okay.

That was proven for her when Yamaguchi had been pulled in as a pinch server towards the end of the second set. The whole gym felt tense, watching Yamaguchi intently.

And then, he scored.

Everyone rejoiced, their cheers echoing through the gym. Hitoka gripped the railings tight, her heart thumping against her chest.

“He did iiiit!!” she cried out, feeling like she was going to cry. Seeing him succeed after he had told her what she did made her heart soar with pride. She knew how hard he worked on his serves, but she never knew what he was actually going through until he told her, and now, she understood why this one point felt like more than just one point, why everyone was cheering as if they had won the game.

He scored another service ace. Hitoka cheered. His third serve was received, but when Hitoka watched Yamaguchi receive Seijou’s ace by throwing his whole body against the attack, she knew he wasn’t going to let himself hand over the serve just yet. And it seemed as if Tsukishima had understood those feelings too, because he scored with a feint, not letting Yamaguchi’s serve go to waste.

Then Yamaguchi scored his final service ace with a net-in, and with it, the score was tied.

Hitoka blinked, shook her head, and blinked again, but the image in front of her didn’t change.

Yamaguchi stood tall and proud, completely opposite to when she had first met him. Completely opposite to how he was before this game even started.

He seemed taller than ever, and somehow more majestic.

Like a mountain that had touched the sky.


	4. Just a Friend

Karasuno had won the play-offs. They had won against the strongest team in the prefecture and were now headed to nationals in Tokyo at the end of January.

This, of course, garnered the volleyball club a lot of attention from the school.

 _‘The crows that gained back their wings,’_ they were calling them now.

Hitoka thought it was definitely much better than _‘Flightless crows’_ or _‘Fallen champions.’_

There was a skip in a step as she walked down the hallways of her school. She felt lucky to be part of a strong team in her first year. Even if she was just a manager, she hoped that she still had some part to play in the team’s success.

Hitoka suddenly noticed Yamaguchi ahead of her and he didn’t seem to have Tsukishima with him.

“Yamaguchi-kun!” she called out to him. He turned to her and smiled as he let her catch up.

“Good morning, Yachi-san.”

“Good morning!” Hitoka smiled back, practically beaming.

“You seem to be in a good mood,” Yamaguchi pointed out.

“I’m just still so happy we won, y’know?” Hitoka bounced on the spot, clapping her hands together.

“Yeah. Me too!” Yamaguchi’s grin matched Hitoka’s now and her heart started to feel even lighter. She noticed up ahead a couple of girls glancing back at them every now and then, whispering.

“Go talk to him,” Hitoka heard one of them say.

“I can’t!” said the other.

Hitoka frowned. For some reason, she didn’t like the look of this. But before she could distract Yamaguchi from them, they had started to approach.

“Y-Yamaguchi-kun?” one of the girls said shyly.

“Yes?” Yamaguchi replied, turning to her. “Oh, were you looking for Tsukki? He just went to the toilet, so…”

“N-No, I’m not looking for Tsukishima-kun…” The girl shyly fidgeted with her fingers. “I, um, wanted to talk to you, Yamaguchi-kun.”

Hitoka noticed Yamaguchi’s eyes going wide, and his mouth slightly agape as a soft blush paints his cheeks.

“O-Oh! Oh… um, okay…”

Hitoka didn’t like this one bit, but it was hard to say why.

“It’s so cool you’re going to the nationals,” the girl said.

“I-I guess,” Yamaguchi chuckles softly, sheepishly scratching the back of his head.

“And you’re just a first year too!”

“Well, I, uh, I mean, it’s not like I’m a regular or anything…”

“You’re a pinch server though, right? … What’s a pinch server?”

“Oh, it’s uh, someone pulled into the game during a tough spot to score points for the team using their serves.”

“That’s so cool!”

“Th-thank you…!”

Hitoka walked away, leaving them to it. She was just getting in the way standing there, anyway. She entered her class and sat at her desk, sighing. Then she suddenly moaned and buried her face in her arms on her desk. She didn’t get it! Why was she feeling this way? She should’ve been happy Yamaguchi is getting this attention. He deserved it!

Maybe she was just angry because of the way they used to talk about him. That he was plain, didn’t stand out much, was average-looking, not even a regular. Hitoka had thought he was cool way before any of them did. But then again, all the same, she never really said so, especially when they were putting him down like they did.

Besides, those girls were really cute. Much cuter than she was, although that wasn’t hard to be. Everyone around her seemed to stand out more than she did. Shimizu was an absolute beauty, with smooth skin, alluring blue eyes and thick, luxurious hair, and to top it all off, a beauty mark by her mouth that added to her appeal. Then there was Saeko, Tanaka’s big sister that she met during the play-offs. She definitely had some, ahem, _assets_ that made Hitoka’s already small ones seem non-existent. Though Saeko wasn’t quite the beauty Shimizu was, she still had her own sex appeal and a larger-than-life personality that certainly captures attention. The managers she met the training camp were all so pretty and cute as well, and all her class-mates were adorable.

Then there was her mother, a beauty like no other. Strong and smart and held herself up with confidence Hitoka could only dream of. She hoped she could be like her mother one day, but it was probably impossible for her.

Hitoka was just too plain and small.

Sometimes, she felt like she didn’t even deserve to stand in the same space as these people.

Yamaguchi deserved someone cuter than she was.

Hitoka suddenly jerked up and slapped her cheeks, snapping herself out of it. Why was she even feeling this way? It shouldn’t matter to her anyway, who Yamaguchi liked. He was just a friend, a fellow club member. Her mother would scold her for feeling like this about a boy, jealous and insecure.

When she shouldn’t be.

Because they were just friends.


	5. Walking Home

It was the middle of November and so that meant the sun set earlier than in the summer, and the evenings were cold and dark. With the sky mostly overcast, not even the moon could offer it’s light in wintertime rural Miyagi. Sometimes even the ground would be covered in a thin layer of snow. Hitoka felt it quelch beneath her feet as she left the changing rooms after practice, straightening her coat and adjusting her scarf, watching her breath come up in puffs of air when she breathed.

“I’m sorry, Hitoka-chan,” Shimizu called out from behind her. “But I have some errands to run so I won’t be walking you to your bus stop tonight.”

“Oh, that’s okay!” Hitoka said. “It’s fine on my own.”

Shimizu nodded, and then her gaze drifted to over Hitoka’s shoulder. Confused, Hitoka looked over to see where she was looking. Her gaze was directed at Tsukishima, and Tsukishima was looking back. He nodded towards her too.

_Wait, what?_

What did this mean? Was something going on between the two?

Tsukishima got injured during the finals at the play-offs and Shimizu had taken him to the infirmary. Hitoka had come too, but she waited outside while Shimizu was inside with Tsukishima. Did something happen then? Wait, it couldn’t have. Not in front of Tsukishima’s brother, who was there with them. Or maybe it did, despite that.

Tsukishima and Shimizu?

Hitoka had to admit, they’d make a very attractive couple. A pair of cool beauties who wore glasses. But it was strange to think. Mostly because she couldn’t picture either of them in love with anyone, let alone each other. Besides, Tsukishima would be in danger if he dated Shimizu. Hitoka is still sure Shimizu’s fans are hunting after her for being an impudent first-year taking up her time and space.

“Well, see you tomorrow, Hitoka-chan.”

Shimizu’s voice snapped Hitoka out of her train of thought and brought her back to reality, turning back to her senior.

“Y-Yes, see you tomorrow, Shimizu-senpai!”

They waved and Shimizu had walked off. The rest of them began to sparse and separate as well.

“Ah. I just remembered,” Tsukishima’s voice suddenly cut through the silence. “I have something to do, so we can’t walk home together tonight. Sorry, Yamaguchi.”

Yamaguchi shook his head. “That’s fine, Tsukki.”

Then suddenly, Tsukishima turned his head to look at Hitoka and she jumped at the surprise.

“But you know, I guess you could always walk Yachi-san home instead.”

Yamaguchi seemed to startle, sputtering his response.

“Wh-what?!”

“Yachi-san is okay with that, right?” Tsukishima said, still looking at her.

Hitoka swallowed. It really should be okay. She is okay. She’s had a boy walk her home before. Hinata to be exact. In fact, he’s done it a couple of times already and it’s been no big deal. But for some reason, having it be Yamaguchi made her heart pick up pace and her voice caught in her throat. But that doesn’t make any sense, because just like Hinata, Yamaguchi was a friend, so it shouldn’t be a big deal.

But a part of her wanted to say no, because of how nervous the idea made her feel. But an even bigger part wanted to say yes, because… because… well, there’s no reason to say no, is there? But then again, saying yes would look like… well, it’ll look like _something._

“I-It’s fine, I mean, I can walk home by myself!” Hitoka starts waving her hands about to reassure the two.

Tsukishima raises an eyebrow.

“Well, you’re both walking home alone tonight. Might as well walk together.” And with that, he walks off, placing his headphones on his head and waving a hand goodbye, ignoring Yamaguchi’s protests of _“Tsukki!”_

Hitoka stood stiff in place. She was now alone with Yamaguchi. But this is fine, isn’t it? Nothing to freak out about or make a big deal out of.

It was just Yamaguchi. Her fellow club member and friend.

He turned to her, sheepishly scratching his cheek and avoiding her eye. Was… was he blushing?

“G-Guess we should get going, huh?” He said. “Um, which way is your…?”

“Oh, um, this way…” Hitoka mumbles and leads Yamaguchi in the direction of her home.

He walks next to her, a significant space between them. It’s silent and awkward, although Hitoka can’t really tell why. It’s not like she finds it hard to talk to Yamaguchi at all. For as timid as he can be, he’s a friendly conversationalist, but when she glances over to him, he seemed a little tense, eyes fixating on the floor ahead of him. Why… why this reaction? They were friends so striking up a conversation shouldn’t be hard for either of them.

Hitoka takes a deep breath and begins to talk.

“Um, Yamaguchi-kun…?”

Yamaguchi lifts his head and turns to look at her. “Yeah?”

“C-Can I ask you something…?”

“M-Me?”

“Mm,” Hitoka nodded. She doesn’t turn to look at Yamaguchi. “It’s about Tsukishima-kun… and Shimizu-senpai…”

“What?”

“Um, is there…” she bit her lip. “Is there something going on between them? Like… romantic-wise?”

Yamaguchi stopped dead in his tracks. “What?”

There was a hint of a laugh in his voice and now Hitoka just feels dumb, but she continues anyway.

“Like, did something happen when they were in the infirmary? Are they dating now? I just thought, earlier, it looked like something was going on…” Hitoka turned to Yamaguchi this time. “I figured you would know, since you’re close with Tsukishima-kun.”

Yamaguchi blinks at her, and then laughs.

“There’s no way that’s possible!” He says, and he seemed pretty convinced of it for sure. “I mean, for as long as I’ve known Tsukki, he’s never really liked anyone.”

“There’s a first time for everything, right?”

“I guess, but I figured if it ever happened, I’d just know. But I don’t know how Tsukki even feels about girls let alone Shimizu-senpai.”

Hitoka tilts her head. “Isn’t that something guys talk about all the time?”

Yamaguchi shakes his head with a sad smile. “Tsukki and I don’t usually talk about that sort of thing, and if we do, I’m the only one talking.”

“Hmm…” The conversation starts to fade and so they continue walking. After a few moments, Hitoka gasps, as if she had a revelation. “Maybe he’s into guys!”

Yamaguchi chuckled. “Maybe, but I’m not sure about that either. He just never seemed interested in anyone at all.”

Hitoka hummed again. That Tsukishima sure was a mystery, even to his best friend.

“Are you in love, Yamaguchi-kun?”

This time, Hitoka was the one who stopped dead in her tracks. What made her ask such a thing she had no idea, but now she was shaking, her heart threatening to leap out of her throat. It was such a personal question and she just asked it like that, without thinking! How rude could she get?

And, for some reason, she was a little afraid of the answer.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… ! I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have asked, that was rude of me, I…” Hitoka stammered, afraid of looking Yamaguchi in the eye, keeping her head low in apology.

“I-It’s okay!” Yamaguchi reassured. “I mean, it’s fine…”

For some reason, he sounded kind of sad?

“I don’t know…”

_Don’t know?_

“I mean, I don’t think so…”

_Don’t think so…?_

“I mean, I don’t know if I am…”

_What does this mean?_

Hitoka blinked at him, trying to decipher what he was saying. Does this mean Yamaguchi liked someone? Or he didn’t know if he liked someone or not?

“I’m sorry, no, it’s nothing,” Yamaguchi shook his head and waved his hands. “Forget about it, it doesn’t really matter anyway.”

Doesn’t matter? On the contrary, Hitoka thinks it does. Matters to whom though and for what reason, she didn’t know. But, at the end of the day, it’s none of her business.

If Yamaguchi likes someone, then she’s a lucky girl.

Hitoka will do the best she can to support them.

That is, if he _did_ like someone.

The awkward silence was back as they continued walking and Hitoka couldn’t help but notice the space between them was wider than before.

“I’m sorry,” Hitoka mumbled. She didn’t want things to be awkward between her and Yamaguchi. “I shouldn’t have asked…”

“No, it’s fine,” Yamaguchi replied.

“But just so you know, if you ever do fall in love with someone, I’ll do my best to support you!” Hitoka pumps her fists for emphasis and Yamaguchi smiled at her.

Although, something about the smile seemed sad.

“Thanks. I’ll do the same, for whenever you fall in love.”

Hitoka wanted to smile back, but it just didn’t come. Instead, she just turned ahead again and focused on the path in front of her.

Whenever she fell in love, huh?

She had never been in love before, heck, she hasn’t even _liked_ anyone before. But she got the feeling that, whenever she does, there’s not a chance in the world her feelings would ever be returned.

After all, who could fall in love with a plain girl who blends into the background like her?

Once they reached the bus stop, Yamaguchi waited with her silently until the bus arrived. They said their _‘see you tomorrow’s_ with a wave. But Hitoka noticed when she sat down by the window, Yamaguchi was still waiting there. He noticed her and waved again, and she waved back. He continued to wave even as the bus took off, and Hitoka couldn’t help but laugh as she kept waving back, until Yamaguchi was out of sight. Even so, she continued to smile all the way home.

The next day Shimizu had approached her during club activities.

“I heard Yamaguchi walked you home last night?” She asked. Hitoka startled, dropping the volleyball she was holding.

“Um, yes?! W-Why…!?”

Shimizu shook her head.

“I see,” she said with a knowing smile and turned back to face the court, adjusting her glasses. Hitoka stammered and stuttered but words didn’t come out and when she tried to follow Shimizu’s gaze she noticed she was looking at Tsukishima again. Tsukishima had noticed her too. Shimizu gave him a nod and Tsukishima nodded back before turning his focus back to training.

Wait... _what was all that about!?_


	6. Friend-dates on Christmas Eve

It was Christmas Eve and Sendai City was feeling festive, decorated with lights and tinsel all over. Hitoka stood in front of a shop, where they had agreed to meet. She had come a little early and it felt awkward standing around, but she didn’t want to come late and keep everyone waiting. She had to admit, she was a little surprised at the invite. She had received a text from Tsukishima a few days ago, asking for all the first years to hang out at Christmas. This was odd for a couple of reasons. One, Tsukishima never asked to hang out with anyone and two, she figured he’d be such a homebody on Christmas, since the city was buzzing with celebration and romance. When she asked Yamaguchi about it, he thought it odd too, but chalked it up to Tsukishima having just changed in the last couple of months, not just in volleyball, but socially too.

Well, either way, this is the first time she’s spending Christmas with her friends. Usually she spends with it having a fancy dinner with Mom. She feels a little bad, but her mother seemed more than pleased that she was spending it with friends instead. Besides, they’ll have New Years together.

“Ah, Yachi-san!”

Hitoka turned to the call of her name and spotted Yamaguchi waving as he approached her.

“Yamaguchi-kun! Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas!” He replied with a bright smile. She couldn’t help but notice he was alone. She figured he’d show up together with Tsukishima, since they always showed up together.

“Where’s Tsukishima-kun?” She asked.

“Oh, about that. Tsukki told me earlier that he had to cancel. He’s spending Christmas with Akiteru-kun, because it’s been awhile since they spent Christmas together.”

“Oh,” Hitoka says. Something about this was feeling a little like deja vu, made to be alone with Yamaguchi because others conveniently had things to do… “Won’t they have New Years, though?”

Yamaguchi laughed. “Yeah, but… well, you know Akiteru-kun. Besides, he’s single. I guess Tsukki is just keeping him company.”

“I see,” Hitoka couldn’t help but smile. She had met Tsukishima’s older brother at the play-offs and if there’s one thing she learnt about him, is that Akiteru cares a lot for his little brother. She got the feeling that something had happened a while ago between the two, something bad that put a strain on their relationship. While she’s not sure what it is, she knows they’re only just beginning to rebuild again. It was probably good for them to spend as much time as possible with each other. “Guess we’re just waiting on Hinata-kun and Kageyama-kun, then!”

“Yeah.”

5 minutes passed.

10 minutes passed.

Neither of them showed up.

Of course, it wasn’t weird to think they’d be late, but standing alone with Yamaguchi on Christmas Eve was making her more nervous than it should.

15 minutes.

“Why haven’t they showed up yet?” Hitoka began to wonder.

“Hold on, let me text them…” Yamaguchi took out his phone and Yachi watched him as he pressed a few buttons. A short moment later, his phone buzzed and he checked the messages. He let out a shocked cry that made Hitoka jump.

“What is it!?”

“Hinata and Kageyama had no idea!” Yamaguchi said, showing Hitoka the message on her phone. It was from Hinata, saying that he didn’t know they were supposed to meet in the city and that he can’t anyway because he promised Natsu he’d spend Christmas with her. “Hold on, let me just…”

He sent a message in reply. His phone buzzed again.

“Oh my god.”

“What is it!?” Yamaguchi’s reactions were making Hitoka anxious.

“They never got a message from Tsukki in the first place!”

“Wait, what? But he was the one who…?”

Yamaguchi put his phone in his pocket and closed his eyes, tilting his head back.

“I should have known,” he sighed. “Dammit, Tsukki. I already told you…”

Hitoka was highly confused. But then it dawned on her.

Tsukishima never sent a text to Hinata and Kageyama. Only her and Yamaguchi. Then Tsukishima oh-so-conveniently promised his brother to spend Christmas with him. And now, she was alone with Yamaguchi again.

_On Christmas Eve._

“It’s okay, if you wanna leave,” Yamaguchi started to say. “I mean, we were both expecting a group of us, but I mean, it’s Christmas and well…”

Hitoka understood the implications of what Yamaguchi meant. It was Christmas Eve. It was romantic. If Hitoka spent it alone with Yamaguchi, would that make it a date?! N-No, a date only happened when one asked the other to go on a date, not because two people were brought together against their own free will! Not that she considers being alone with Yamaguchi against her free will, but it was definitely not what she was expecting.

Still, they had both made the effort to come all this way.

It was okay to spend Christmas alone together as just friends, right? Despite the deep romantic implications of, well, spending Christmas alone together.

“No, it’s okay,” Hitoka shook her head. “We can hang out, just the two of us.”

“A-A-A-A-A-A-ARE YOU SURE?” Yamaguchi sputtered, a reaction that startled Hitoka.

“Y-YES!?”

“I-I MEAN, BUT, YOU DON’T HAVE TO…?”

“I-IT’S OKAY!?”

Their exchange of nervous shouting alarmed passers-by, but nothing was calming the two of them down.

“B-B-BUT, IT’S CHRISTMAS…?”

“S-S-S-S-SO???”

It almost felt like Hitoka’s heart was gonna jump out of her chest and hit Yamaguchi in the face. Actually, not almost. It was going to. She was way too nervous. Of course she would be. Walking home with Yamaguchi was one thing, and something she knew she shouldn’t have been nervous about. But this time, it was Christmas! The implications of that were…!

“I-I guess there’s n-nothing wrong with spending Christmas together with a friend…?” Yamaguchi said eventually, his face red.

“Y-Yeah…” Hitoka agreed, and she was sure her face was just as red.

“O-Okay…”

“Yeah…”

“So, uh, wh-what do you wanna do first…?”

“Oh, um… I don’t know?”

The atmosphere was way too awkward and Hitoka felt like her anxiety was going to kill her, but thankfully, Yamaguchi had made the first move and began to walk, gesturing for Hitoka to follow him. She did, but skittishly, practically jumping out of her skin as her shoulder barely brushed against his arm.

“Um,” she started, afraid to look up at Yamaguchi. She didn’t even know what she wanted to say, but the awkward silence was slowly killing her poor heart.

“Oh, did you want to do some karaoke?” Yamaguchi suddenly asked and Hitoka finally looked at him. They were standing outside a karaoke bar, that was covered in lights and tinsel, completely decorated in the festive season. Hitoka hasn’t really been to karaoke since middle school, and even back then she was way too shy to sing. But Yamaguchi had suggested it and since Hitoka didn’t have any better ideas, she agreed.

She didn’t think this through.

They were trapped in a small booth. With all this privacy.

So much privacy.

The only window the glass on the door but even that was frosted, disallowing anyone to peer in.

They sat on opposite ends of the couch, Hitoka clutching the microphone hard enough her knuckles were white and her hands started to shake. The whole of her was shaking, as a matter of fact.

Alone with a boy in a private karaoke room.

What would people say if they found out!?

What would her mother say!?

“Um, did you… want to pick the first song?” Yamaguchi had asked and Hitoka refused to look at him, but what she can hear from his voice, he was just as nervous.

“Er, I uh… it’s okay for you to go first,” she squeaked.

So Yamaguchi picked a song, and he sang. He had a nice voice, Hitoka thought. He wasn’t super talented or anything like that, but it was soft and kind of shy, mellow, like when someone sings you a lullaby.

Hitoka closes her eyes as she listens.

His voice felt like a soft breeze that gently rustled through the flowers of a valley.

Hitoka became embarrassed at the image she created in her head.

The song finished and Yamaguchi laughed sheepishly. Hitoka clapped gently.

“That was nice, Yamaguchi-kun!”

“Heh, really?”

Hitoka nodded and he muttered a shy thanks, sitting back down on the couch. It was Hitoka’s turn to pick a song now. She also considered herself a little tone deaf, so she doesn’t sing that much at all, even in her own privacy, but they had a whole hour and it wouldn’t be fair if Yamaguchi was the only one who sung.

She started, mumbling, a little embarrassed. If she sang any louder though, then Yamaguchi would know she couldn’t sing for sure.

“Go Yachi-san!” Yamaguchi cheered. “You can do it!”

Hitoka was a little taken aback, but the encouragement gave her slightly more confidence, and she sang louder, louder, until she just stopped caring. She knew her voice was awful, and it was probably painful for Yamaguchi to listen to, but he just cheered her on as he hit at the tambourine that came with the room. If it were anyone else, Hitoka would think they were making fun of her. But this was Yamaguchi, and everything he did was genuine and sincere. So at the climax of the song, Hitoka really gave it her all without holding back, even dramatically posing a little and when the song ended, Yamaguchi cheered.

Hitoka laughed.

The rest of the hour was spent singing songs and cheering the other and having fun, that Hitoka had forgotten they were ever awkward before. Once their hour was up, they decided to get something to eat and drink at a cafe close by. Their conversation flowed, talking about anything to everything, from volleyball club, to Tsukishima and Shimizu, to school, to nationals, to their own friends and family and it continued to flow as they walked around the city, looking at the sights but not really doing anything in particular. Hitoka thought they didn’t really have to do anything. Just being with Yamaguchi was fun enough as it is.

When it got late and they said their goodbyes at the bus stop, Hitoka left with a good feeling. Like a furnace at the pit of her stomach, feeling her insides with warmth.

Yamaguchi may be just a friend, but it was still the most fun and romantic Christmas she’s ever had.


	7. Half-Blessing + Half-Blessing = Whole Blessing

It was New Year’s Eve and Hitoka was standing in Shimizu’s room as she helped wrap her obi.

“I haven’t worn New Year’s kimono since I was a little girl,” Hitoka says, admiring the long sleeves covered in bright patterns.

Shimizu giggled. “Mom makes me wear one every year.”

“No wonder you’re so handy on putting one on!”

“There, that’s not too tight is it?”

Hitoka shook her head. Shimizu stepped back and smiled.

“You look really cute Hitoka-chan,” she said.

“N-Not as pretty as you, Shimizu-senpai!” Hitoka responded, blushing slightly and looking away.

Shimizu giggled again. She honestly looked far more radiant than usual in her kimono, and even though Hitoka would admit she looked rather cute in her own, she’d still seem even more her scrubby and plain self next to Shimizu.

“Trust me Hitoka-chan, he’s gonna find you absolutely adorable.”

“He?” Hitoka repeated, confused. Who was she talking about? Who’s _‘he’?_

Shimizu shook her head. “Nevermind. We should get going now, it’s almost midnight.”

“R-Right!”

Hitoka followed Shimizu out of her room and down the stairs to where Shimizu’s mother was waiting to drive them to the shrine. The team had all agreed to meet at the shrine after midnight so they could all pray together for luck at nationals. With how hard they worked, and with blessings, there’s no way Karasuno could lose nationals now, right?

When they arrived, they found their coach and advisor and the other third years had too. They all greeted each other and the boys complimented the girls on their kimono. Hitoka blushed, not sure how to properly respond to her seniors complimenting her. Soon enough, the second years had arrived, Saeko following behind.

Kinnoshita and Narita looked like they had seen a ghost, while Nishinoya and Tanaka were as rowdy as ever.

“I thought I was gonna die....” Kinnoshita muttered. Narita agreed.

“What are you talking about? Nee-san’s driving was as great as ever!” Nishinoya said excitedly. Saeko laughed loud and proud.

“Thank you, Yuu!”

“Saeko-neesan!” Hitoka called out and Saeko grinned when she spotted her.

“Hitoka-chan! And Kiyoko!” She waved her arm wildly. “Helloooo! Happy New Year!”

“Happy N-”

“WOOOOOAAAAHHH KIYOKO-SAN AND YACCHAN ARE WEARING KIMONO!!”

Tanaka and Nishinoya’s outburst startled Hitoka enough she almost jumped out of her skin. They fell to the floor on their knees, arms raised up as if in prayer.

“We have nothing else to pray for in the New Year’s,” Tanaka said, his voice serene.

“We’ve already been blessed, we don’t need anything else,” said Nishinoya, his voice just as serene.

Suddenly, Ennoshita chopped them both on the heads.

“Stop that,” he said sternly, unimpressed. “You look like idiots.”

From the distance, Hitoka heard familiar voices. They sounded like arguing. Kageyama and Hinata arguing to be exact.

“Ah, they’re here!” Hitoka turned and sure enough there they were in the distance, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi and Akiteru following behind. “Guys! Happy New Year’s!”

Hitoka called out and ran towards them, immediately stopping their argument as they noticed her. Hinata waved wildly, looking excited to see her.

“Oh! Yachi-san! Happy New Year’s!” Hinata shouted. “Ah! You’re wearing kimono! Awesome…!”

“Oh,” Hitoka laughed, shyly rubbing the back of her head. “Th-thank you…”

“Oooh, you look great Hitoka-chan!” Akiteru said, grinning bright. “Right, Tadashi? Don’t you think she looks cute?”

“Eh?”

“Eh?”

Both Yamaguchi and Hitoka were taken by surprise, and when they turned to look at each other, they immediately looked the other way. Hitoka felt her cheeks light up.

“I… I mean,” Yamaguchi began to stutter. “Yachi-san does… look cute…”

His voice was a mere mumble, but the compliment made Hitoka smile.

“Th-thank you, Yamaguchi-Kun…”

She still felt flustered, unable to lift her head up to look at him, or anyone for that matter. Someone needed to change the subject, quick.

“Ts-Tsukishima-kun, you’re wearing kimono too?” She asked, noticing his black and grey garb. He looked rather nice in one, she noted. Somehow more handsome than usual.

“Huh? Oh,” Tsukishima raised his sleeves and looked down at his own clothes. “It’s only because Mom and Nii-chan made me. Mom makes me wear one every year.”

Yamaguchi laughed at that, knowingly.

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

“Sorry, Tsukki,” but he still continued to chuckle quietly.

“Yup. And I promised Mom I’d take lots of pictures too,” Akiteru said, taking out a camera from his jacket.

“Are you serious? You took enough at home…”

“Mom wants more. So, come on now…”

Akiteru made the five of them all gather together to pose for a photo and Hitoka could feel Yamaguchi behind her, his arm brushing against her back and suddenly, her face lit up again, more intense this time and all she could hear in her mind was screaming. It was way too weird, why does Yamaguchi make her feel this way? So nervous that she could die.

Akiteru took the photo and they met up again with the rest, making their way to the shrine. It took a while to get through all those people, and they had to go up as groups, rather than as a whole team, but it was fine, Hitoka thought. All their prayers for the team and for nationals were the same anyway.

Hitoka made her way through the crowd with the others to receive a fortune. Half-blessing. Well, that’s not too bad. Better than the last time when she got a “small curse” and spent the next two weeks panicking about everything going wrong.

“What did you get, Yachi-san?”

Hitoka jumped and turned to Yamaguchi.

“Oh! I, um, I got a half-blessing…” she said, holding up her fortune so he could see.

“So did I!” Yamaguchi said, holding up his own. “I guess that means only some things will go wrong?”

“Wait. If we combine my half-blessing and your half-blessing, then we’ll get one whole blessing, right?” Hitoka pumped her fists excitedly. “That way, nothing will go wrong for the both of us!”

Yamaguchi laughed. “That might just work!”


	8. Frosty Rooftops

Their combined whole blessing was cut short during nationals when Karasuno had lost at the semi-finals.

This was Hitoka’s very first loss.

It was devastating, to say the least. There was a lump in her throat and her chest felt heavy, as if her heart added some weight, pushing down onto her stomach and making her queasy. Tears welled in her eyes as she watched her team, these boys she’s come to love and care for and encourage and support, fall to the floor in defeat or hang their heads low, biting their lips, fists balling at their sides.

They had all come so far, and yet…

There was a heavy air around everyone. The first and second years kept glancing towards the third years, apology in their eyes. Hitoka knew because she looked at Shimizu the same. But they all held their heads high, as if the fact that being third years means that this was their last chance _and they lost_ didn’t destroy them _._

No one really said anything.

The coach gave a speech at dinner, one that instilled strength and determination and they ate through their tears.

Hitoka could barely swallow.

She’s never really known loss like this before, but that’s because she’s never really tried to succeed in the first place, always seeing herself as too weak or not special enough.

She’s glad.

She’s glad she was able to feel this because now… now her resolve to take over after Shimizu graduates has strengthened because of it.

She will be the best manager this team’s ever had and she will help them win nationals.

Later, back at the hotel, the heavy air still seemed to hang around. Everyone seemed solemn, not saying much to each other. It unnerved Hitoka, considering she knew just how lively and rowdy everyone usually is.

 _Like a flock of birds,_ she remembered first thinking.

Hitoka walked around the hotel, through the corridors and up and down stairs, not really sure where she’s going but she just needed to clear out her head, shake off the dark clouds that hovered over her.

Somehow she had ended up on the roof and she shivered at the cold. She figured the fresh air while she looks over the cityscape might do her good, and then she noticed a figure leaning against the balcony. She froze, slightly scared, worried she might have interrupted someone or maybe this person was some murderer waiting for her or something, but then she recognized it as Yamaguchi and breathed a sigh of relief.

Yamaguchi wasn’t dangerous.

What was he doing out here, though?

“Y-Yamaguchi-kun?” Hitoka said softly as she slowly approached. He turned towards her and when he noticed her, smiled.

“Yach-san, hello,” he said.

“What are you doing out here?”

“Thinking.”

“Tsukishima-kun isn’t with you?”

“He’s taking a bath. He wanted to be alone. It’s how he is when he gets like this.”

“I see.”

Hitoka reached his side, leaning against the balcony too and looking over. The city was lit up, lights from almost every building, almost sparkling in the light frost of a late January evening.

“Were you thinking about the game?” Hitoka asked.

“Yeah. Other things too,” Yamaguchi replied.

“Like what?”

“Like… the third years, Tsukki, what’s going to happen now…”

Hitoka hummed. “I’m thinking about the same thing. Well, not Tsukishima-kun specifically, but rather all of you.”

Yamaguchi hummed back. Silence fell between them, but only for a moment until he spoke up again.

“I keep thinking… if I hadn’t let their libero receive that serve… the third serve in a row that was supposed to decide it…”

Hitoka shook her head. “No! It’s not your fault, Yamaguchi-kun. Your serves were amazing like always. No one is blaming you.”

“I know.”

Hitoka blinks at him.

“I know no one is blaming me, because they’re all busy blaming themselves over things they should or shouldn’t have done. I’m the same.” Yamaguchi looked straight ahead, his expression pained. “But that’s why we’re going to get stronger, right?”

Hitoka’s eyes widen, and then she nods once, sure and affirmative. “Of course!”

“Although… with the third years leaving, everything will be different, won’t it?”

“Oh… yeah…”

“The team’s dynamic will change, and we’ll have to figure out how to make it work.”

“But you can do it!”

“Can we?”

Yamaguchi turned his head towards Hitoka, catching her eye and Hitoka felt her breath catch in her throat. It was unexpected, to suddenly be looking into Yamaguchi’s eyes, small, yet wide and a type of brown or green that Hitoka couldn’t pinpoint.

“Yes, you can,” Hitoka says, slowly before pumping her fists in front of her. “Because I’m going to be there to support you all!”

Yamaguchi looked at her, surprised, and then he began to laugh.

“Thank you, Yachi-san,” he said.

“Yeah,” Hitoka nods. “We’ll definitely win nationals next year, right?”

“Right.”

They smile at each other and with this newfound warmth, they both turn back to the cityscape and watch it together in silence.

“There’s hardly any stars out,” Yamaguchi said quietly. Hitoka glances at him and looks up at the sky.

“Yeah, because of all the lights,” Hitoka said.

“It’s not like at home, even in Sendai. There are stars everywhere.”

Hitoka hummed her agreement.

“I really like the stars,” he sighed.

“Me too,” Hitoka agreed. She absentmindedly fidgeted with the hair-tie in her hair, the one with the stars.

_Wait a minute._

Did Yamaguchi really mean it literally when he said he liked the stars or was he talking about how Hitoka had an affinity with star patterned accessories, like some kind of thinly-veiled confession?

Was that a confession?

Did Yamaguchi just confess?

She looked back at him, but he still seemed to be looking at the sky, no change in his expression whatsoever. Hitoka shook her head. Of course it wasn’t a confession. There’s just no way that Yamaguchi would ever confess to someone like her.

Not that it mattered. It’s not like she wanted him to.

Still, her heartbeat wouldn’t slow down and she feels her face warming up.

Suddenly, a shiver went through her and she grabbed her arms to protect herself from the chill, to no avail.

“Yachi-san, are you cold?” Yamaguchi asked, concerned. “Maybe we should head back now.”

Hitoka nodded and followed Yamaguchi back downstairs.


	9. Hair-ties

April had come faster than anyone expected and before everyone knew it, the new school year had started. Cherry blossoms had bloomed in full, their petals in the wind painting the blue sky with specks of pink.

A new year, A new beginning.

The first practice with the new club members, first years, nervous and unsure, had begun. Ennoshita, who was now captain, took on the duties of introducing them to everyone in the club, and introducing themselves (and making sure Tanaka didn’t intimidate them too much that they’re scared off.) Some were amateurs and some had been playing since middle school or as far back as elementary school.

Practice then proceeded as normal, and Hitoka took on her manager duties diligently. She realized now with Shimizu gone, there was double the work and so she would have to stay alert and on the ball more than usual. Of course this didn’t stop her from fumbling with the water bottles and dropping them, one of them with the lid not screwed on properly spilling all over the floor. Ennoshita offered to help her clean up, but naturally she refused, telling him he needs to focus on practice and the new first years.

Another year, and her clumsiness still knows no bounds.

She could barely lift her head as she mopped up the floor, too embarrassed to look any of them in the eye, especially the first years. They were probably expecting a more capable manager than this.

“Is she always this clumsy?” She heard one of them say, and her cheeks reddened with shame.

Then, a familiar laugh. Yamaguchi speaks up. “Kinda. But don’t worry, she’s a reliable manager.”

“Yeah, Yachi-san is our precious manager!” Hinata’s voice rang through the gym. “She’s never let us down!”

Hitoka smiled to herself, feeling glad they honestly felt like she could be relied upon. She felt like Shimizu had left some pretty big shoes to fill, but maybe she didn’t have to worry about that.

Ah.

Well, maybe. She doubts she’ll ever fill them completely, because Shimizu was a Goddess, a beauty unparalleled. The object of admiration throughout the club. Hitoka couldn’t be someone like that. She was just too plain.

“She’s pretty cute though, isn’t she?”

Hitoka perks up.

“Yeah, she’s got his vibe about her, like you want to protect her,” another first year discussed.

“We’re so lucky to have a cute manager!” said another.

Yamaguchi and Hinata seem to grin at that. Hitoka turns away, flustered, before they figure out she overheard them.

Well, a cutie instead of a beauty… but she’ll take it!

It was better than being plain and unnoticed, anyway.

Weeks had passed, months, and suddenly it was the middle of July. Karasuno had lost the inter-high at the finals, against a new and somehow improved Shiratorizawa, even without Ushijima. Karasuno had only just started to get used to their new team dynamics now that the third years were gone, especially since they got Kinnoshita to replace Azumane’s wing spiker position (although Tanaka inherited the title of ace) and Kinnoshita has hardly any game experience. So now, they’re at a training camp in Tokyo again, with all the teams that had been there last year, sans the third years from last time. Even some of the managers Hitoka met last year weren’t there anymore. But there were some new ones, first years, just like she was. It was a little strange, standing on the other side now and seeing what she once was. It still didn’t quite hit her she was a second year and thus had freshmen below her.

But she noticed some of her fellow second years took to being their seniors pretty naturally. Hinata was great at befriending people, as Hitoka experienced first hand, his personality magnetic and his very presence like the sunshine. The first years flocked to him immediately, and he was great at pumping them up.

Then there was Yamaguchi, who took a more nurturing approach. He was great at being supportive and helpful whenever he can, and the first years found him reliable and sought him out whenever they needed anything. Hitoka thought he was similar to the type of senior Sugawara was. Hitoka smiled as she watched him with the first years. He truly was kind and caring and sweet, that it just warmed her heart to see it.

(As opposed to Kageyama and Tsukishima, who were socially awkward and came off as rather intimidating and scary. But Hitoka has to admit she’s rather proud Tsukishima managed to keep his sharp tongue in check. Sometimes.)

After their run up and down the hill, Hitoka passed out water bottles to each of the members. When she got to Yamaguchi, she blinked a little, noticing something different about him.

“Yamaguchi-kun, your hair’s gotten longer,” she said.

“Hm? Has it?” Yamaguchi runs his hand through his hair. “I guess so. I haven’t gone to get it cut in a while, but I can’t now while we’re at training camp…”

Hitoka pulls the star hair-tie from her side-ponytail and hands it Yamaguchi. “Here, use it! It’d be bothersome for you if your hair got in the way all the time.”

Yamaguchi waved a hand. “N-No, I couldn’t! I mean, that’s your hair-tie!”

“It’s fine!” Hitoka reassured. “I have plenty of spare ones! I’ll just use those. I bring all my scrunchies and hair-ties with me to the training camps, just in case!”

“O-Okay, if you say so…” he takes it shyly, pink tinting his cheeks, and ties his hair up into a small and short ponytail. “Thank you.”

“N-No problem! It’s just like Azumane-senpai!” Hitoka says, and Yamaguchi grins, remembering their seniors from last year. Well, Hitoka says like Azumane but his hair style never made Hitoka’s heart skip a bit like Yamaguchi’s did just now. It made him look cooler, somehow, but also cuter, somehow. Or maybe it’s just like when you see someone for the first time without glasses and they just look so different that you’re kinda stunned. Yeah, that’s just it. She waves Yamaguchi off as they begin more training before their next practice match.

He wears the hair-tie for the rest of the camp.

The next day after they came back home, Yamaguchi returns it to her in the hallway.

“I tried to clean it, so uh. Here,” he hands it over to her. “Thanks for letting me use it.”

“No problem!” Hitoka said. “But you didn’t have to return it, I told you I have plenty of spares.”

“But it’s the one you wear the most, so I figured it must have been your favourite.”

“Oh. Well, thank you then!” Hitoka felt herself blush. This was indeed her favourite hair-tie, the one with the black stars. But the fact that Yamaguchi figured it out by noticing she wore it the most… was he paying attention to her? Somehow? For some reason?

It was then she noticed that Yamaguchi still had his hair long and in a small ponytail.

When he noticed she noticed, he reached back to touch it sheepishly.

“Yeah, I uh, I ended up liking how it looked and I thought maybe I’d keep it like this.”

“Just like Azumane-senpai!” Hitoka repeated, beaming.

Yamaguchi chuckled. “I don’t think I’ll grow it out as long as he did though. But I had people tell me this looks cool. Even Tsukki said so, in his roundabout way. So I thought I’d keep it, if it makes me look cooler.”

“Yamaguchi-kun is already cool, though!” Hitoka said out-loud without thinking.

“Eh?”

“Ah! I-I mean… um,” Hitoka waved her hands about, her face heating up and she felt herself get flustered, stammering.

Yamaguchi seemed to be not sure of what to say or do either, and his cheeks seemed just as red as Hitoka’s feels. She can’t believe she said such a thing out-loud, what was she thinking? Oh god. She could feel the looks of everyone in the hall, oh God, what a sorry sight she must be making. She noticed some giggling to themselves, friends whispering to each other. Guys seemed to be looking at Yamaguchi and giving him a thumbs-up.

“U-Um, th-thank you, I guess…!” Yamaguchi managed to spurt and Hitoka responded in kind, her voice squeaky and shrill.

“No problem!”

“A-Anyway, I better get to class. Thanks again, Yachi-san!” Yamaguchi says with a wave as he walks back to his classroom, a little too quickly, Hitoka noticed.

“O-Oh yeah, you’re welcome!” She called out, waving, still somewhat distracted by her beating heart. She turned, expecting to walk through the door of her own classroom, but instead she hit the wall next to it and fell backwards to the floor.


	10. A Girlfriend!?

One sunny, late-August afternoon, Hitoka bounced into class 4, her bento in hand.

“Yamaguchi-kun, Tsukishima-kun!” She called out. The boys turned their heads to look at her and Yamaguchi waved, while Tsukishima nodded. “Let’s have lunch together! I’ll ask Kageyama-kun and Hinata-kun to eat with us too!”

Tsukishima pulled a face at that, but Yamaguchi looked a bit hesitant. He never hesitated to have lunch together before.

“Sorry, Yachi-san, but I can’t,” he said. He seems to glance at Tsukishima for a moment before looking back at her. “I’m having lunch with my girlfriend today. I was just telling Tsukki…”

“Oh…”

Wait a minute.

_ Girlfriend!? _

Since when? Who was she? How did this happen? Why does Tsukishima seem to huff and not even look at Yamaguchi when he says he’ll see him later as he takes his bento and leaves the class?

Why is there this pain in her chest like someone was squeezing her heart and digging their nails into it and refused to let go, even though she couldn’t breathe? Why could she feel herself shaking, why could she feel tears pricking the corners of her eyes?

Yamaguchi had a girlfriend. She should be happy for her friend.

She shakes her head.

No, she WAS happy for her friend.

Yamaguchi deserved to have a girlfriend! She’s a very lucky girl!

It makes sense for him to have one. He was a great guy and the volleyball club has been getting a lot of attention as of late, since they made it nationals. So it’s no wonder.

“So, Yamaguchi-kun has a girlfriend then, huh?” Hitoka said, her voice shaking more than she thought it would. She turned back to Tsukishima, who was staring out the window with his head in hand. He turns slightly to look her, then huffs again with a scowl before turning back to the window.

“Yeah.”

“...You don’t seem too happy about it, Tsukishima-kun. Why?”

He and Yamaguchi were pretty close. Maybe Tsukishima was bothered because Yamaguchi having a girlfriend meant he’d hang out with Tsukishima a little less.

“You don’t seem happy about it either, Yachi-san.”

Hitoka was taken aback.

“Wh… n-no, of course I’m happy! Yamaguchi-kun is my friend, so of course I’m happy…” her voice faded by the end and she worried she didn’t sound very convincing. She doesn’t get it. She  _ should _ be happy for him, but instead she feels like crying. She has no reason to! Unless she actually liked him, but that was impossible. She bit her lip.

Tsukishima looked at her, and then sighed.

“Wanna have lunch together?” He asked. Hitoka lifted her head to look at him and noticed he was offering the seat that Yamaguchi was sitting in earlier, the one turned from the desk in front. Hitoka sat in it without saying anything, placing her bento on the table. She began to unwrap hers, as did Tsukishima, neither of them saying a word. It was only after a couple of mouthfuls of rice did Hitoka finally say something.

“Have you met her?” 

Tsukishima nodded. “Yeah.”

“What’s she like?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t particularly like her. I don’t dislike her either.”

Hitoka pursed her lips and looked down at her food again. Well, that was just like Tsukishima, she thought. He only hated specific types of people, and was apathetic to the rest. There was really only a select few he genuinely liked and cared about. Hitoka figured one of those people would at least be his best friend’s girlfriend, though. Yamaguchi meant enough to him to care about that person, right?

“When did this happen?” Hitoka asked, plopping a cherry tomato in her mouth.

“The other day.” Well, that’s vague.

“How?” 

Tsukishima sighed again.

“She just asked to talk to him somewhere private and confessed, I guess. And Yamaguchi, for some reason, accepted.”

It’s not like it was unusual for Tsukishima to talk in a deadpan tone of voice, but this time, it sounded almost exasperated. He was hard to read, but after getting to know him for over a year now, Hitoka could tell when he was angry, or upset by the slightest expression change. But before Hitoka could ask, Tsukishima continued.

“Do you think it’s idiotic to agree to go out with someone while you like someone else?”

Hitoka blinked, not sure how to react. What did he mean by that? Did Yamaguchi like someone else? She remembers the talk she had with Yamaguchi almost a year ago, when he walked her home. He seemed to imply he did like someone, but Hitoka had almost completely forgotten about it, since it never came up again. So did he like someone back then and still does now?

“No, nevermind. Don’t worry about it,” Tsukishima spoke again, cutting off Hitoka’s train of thought.

“Eh? Oh, um. Okay,” she said, but found herself worrying about it anyway, not sure what to make of anything Tsukishima said. The pain in her chest hadn’t gone away either.

They continued eating their lunch together in silence, only saying their  _ ‘see you later’ _ s when the bell rung.

It played around in Hitoka’s head for a few days after, worrying herself so much she barely slept. The chest pains didn’t help either. Sometimes tears would fall, and she didn’t even know why. There’s no reason for her to be sad about Yamaguchi having a girlfriend.

And there’s no reason why she felt like screaming when Yamaguchi introduced her to Hitoka. No reason whatsoever to scream and run and cry. Because Yamaguchi was her friend. Only her friend.

It was no wonder he agreed to go out with her. She was really pretty. And nice. Friendly, and she and Hitoka got along really well. But she couldn’t help list all the things she had that Hitoka didn’t. A sense of charisma that was warm and cute, brown hair that was thick and luxurious, long eyelashes that gave her a fairy-like look, the cutest giggle Hitoka has ever heard, a general sweetness that was desirable…

She was perfect to be Yamaguchi’s girlfriend, she thought, tears pricking her eyes yet again as she watched them walk away. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her head, and she looked up to see Tsukishima standing over her.

“Don’t worry, she’s got nothing on you,” he said, and then left just like that.

Hitoka was confused.

Her feelings were confusing her.


	11. K-Kissing!?

Many weeks passed, weeks of Hitoka watching Yamaguchi and his girlfriend be happy and sweet. Weeks of Hitoka feeling pains in her chest whenever she did. Weeks of blinking back tears and weeks of trying to not feel too disappointed when Yamaguchi would hang out with his girlfriend instead of them.

But one day, during club activities on a cold, early November afternoon, Hitoka noticed something was wrong with Yamaguchi. His movements were sluggish, and he kept his head down most of the time and didn’t seem to be paying much attention to what was going on around him. His receives were off and even his serves, the thing he was best at, kept hitting the net. Tsukishima would often glance at him out of the corner of his eye too, seemingly concerned for his best friend. At the end of club activities, the coach even had a word with Yamaguchi, telling him to snap out of whatever’s dragging him down, because they have nationals in two months.

The coach left them all to it for self-practice with a last reminder to lock the gym after themselves when they’ve all finished. Tsukishima was the only one to leave, as he went to Sendai to practice with his brother’s team. He gave Yamaguchi one last look, to which he responded with a rueful smile and a soft, “Tsukki, I’ll be okay. Honest.”

Then Tsukishima did an incredible thing. He squeezed Yamaguchi’s arm. Hitoka knew Tsukishima wasn’t one for physical affection, he barely liked to be touched as it is. There were a couple of exceptions he’d accept physical contact from, but it was very unlike Tsukishima to give comforting gestures of the physical kind himself. That’s how Hitoka knew there was definitely something seriously wrong with Yamaguchi.

After Tsukishima left, he walked over to the window where he kept his towel hanging by the bars. Hitoka was sitting on the floor, the pen Yamaguchi gave her pressed to the side of her mouth, and analysing the information on her clipboard. Or rather, she was supposed to, but she couldn’t help look up at Yamaguchi worriedly. He noticed her looking after he wiped the sweat from his face and Hitoka panicked, frantically returning to her clipboard.

She heard him sigh.

So she finally got the courage to stand up and move over to him so she could ask, “What’s wrong, Yamaguchi-kun?”

He looked at her again, this time with surprise. Then his face fell and he turned away shaking his head.

“No, don’t worry about it.”

“Yamaguchi-kun, remember what I told you about voicing your worries?” Hitoka said, recalling the time she helped him with his anxiety before their game against Aoba Jousai the previous year. “It’ll make you feel better!”

He bit his lip, staring at the space in front of him, then exhaled, his shoulders relaxing. Hitoka felt herself relax too.

“My girlfriend broke up with me.”

Hitoka tensed up again.

“I… Oh. I’m so sorry, Yamaguchi-kun…” she said, and though she was genuinely sad for him, she couldn’t ignore the sense of relief washing over her. “Is it… is it okay to ask why?”

“No, it’s fine, it just…” he rubbed the back of his neck, still not quite looking at Hitoka. “She said I ended up being less cooler than she originally thought.”

“Wh- what?”

Yamaguchi pursed his lips. “I guess she thought I was… someone cool, because I was in the volleyball club that made it to nationals.”

“But you are!” Hitoka exclaimed. That made him finally look at her, his eyes wide and mouth open. Hitoka felt herself blush. “U-Uh… I mean… I…”

Yamaguchi smiled softly. “Tsukki said the same thing.”

Hitoka pressed her lips together. That makes sense, why Tsukishima seemed so concerned. Of course Yamaguchi would turn to his best friend before anyone else.

“Well, he’s right,” Hitoka said, voice quiet and her lips trembling. “And she’s wrong…”

She doesn’t get it. What did his girlfriend see in Yamaguchi that she didn’t deem ‘cool’ enough? What was she expecting from him? Yamaguchi is kind and sweet and funny and hard-working and not as weak-willed as he’d have you first believe.

He was very cool.

The coolest.

“She didn’t deserve you,” Hitoka said and when it dawned on her what she said, she felt her cheeks light up with an intense heat and her brain started screaming. It became even more intense when Yamaguchi looked at her with surprise, blush painting his freckled cheeks. He stammered, seemingly not sure how to respond and quite frankly, Hitoka had no idea how to escape this other than to just run.

But then suddenly, Yamaguchi shook his head.

“She’s not… the only one in the wrong. I wasn’t exactly fair to her either…” 

Hitoka tilted her head, confused by what he meant.

“Tsukki was right, I was an idiot to agree to go out with her just to try and get over someone else,” he said, seemingly more to himself than Hitoka. Wait… did this mean? He really did actually like someone? This whole time? Hitoka pursed her lips together. There was the weird feeling in her chest again. “I’m glad we didn’t do anything more than hold hands, in that case.”

Hitoka looked up. “W-Wait, that means you… i mean, you didn’t k… k-k-k-k… ki… k-ki...ss?”

Yamaguchi jumped back so far, Hitoka swore he almost ended up on the other side of the gym. 

“N-N-N-N-No! I-I mean… I… it’s b-because… l-like I said, it wasn’t fair a-and… I better get back to practicing!” 

He ran off, back to the court, leaving Hitoka standing there flustered. So they didn’t kiss then, huh? Hitoka hated to admit it, but a part of her was very glad. She shook herself back into focus and picked up her clipboard. But then she started to wonder about kissing. She’s never been kissed before, so of course she’s gone over in her head, again and again, everything that could go wrong, all the possibilities, and ways to prevent it. And then she’d come up with new possibilities of what could go wrong. 

There were just so many factors to consider.

The angles of their heads.

What they were wearing.

The location.

Who it was with.

She suddenly thought of what it would be like to kiss Yamaguchi.

Next thing she knew the club members all surrounded her in worry while she was keeled over on the floor, wheezing and shaking.


	12. Future Goals

It was Yamaguchi’s birthday soon and she fretted over what to make for him. Hitoka had always liked giving people handmade gifts. She knitted Hinata a beanie since he ripped a hole in his, even though his birthday was in the summer (he loved it so much he wore it even though it was sweltering outside.) Last year she gave Kageyama a phone strap she made herself by buying little charms (she found a volleyball charm and an onigiri charm and she couldn't think of anything else that represented him better. He still has it on his phone) and just earlier in September, she stitched a small dinosaur plush for Tsukishima (a brachiosaurus, to be exact. Tsukishima tried to be nonchalant about it, but Hitoka could tell he loved it. Yamaguchi told her he keeps it on his desk.)

She flopped onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. It was easy figuring out what to give everyone. So why was it so hard to figure out what to get Yamaguchi? She didn’t want to get him just anything. It had to special. Hitoka scanned all around her room, hoping to find some kind of inspiration. They land on her desk, where the pink pen with gold stars sat. The one Yamaguchi gave her. And while looking at it made her smile, it didn't really inspire her. So she looked around again. Her eyes fell to the pinboard on the wall by her bed. The calendar on it had ‘Yamaguchi-kun’s birthday!’ on it, circled and decorated with stars, and on her to-do list, ‘make Yamaguchi’s present!’

She suddenly sat up.

She finally knew what to make him!

If there was anything she knew about Yamaguchi, it’s how much she and him are alike. Just like her, he’s easily anxious, and timid, usually cautious and sometimes paranoid with an overactive imagination. Maybe he wasn’t always as negative as she was, but she understood his feelings well. She’s looked into all sorts of stuff to handle anxiety, and Hitoka has found that nothing calms her mind more than a sense of organization. She wasn’t anal about it, but keeping things around her neat and tidy, writing down dates on a calendar and keeping a to-do list, as well as a list of short-term goals she hopes to achieve has helped a lot.

She hopes it does the same for Yamaguchi.

It was a little awkward carrying such a big present around, and she was nervous about the kinds of looks people would be sending her. But she was glad she didn’t have to bring it to school at least. Lucky Yamaguchi’s birthday fell on a Sunday this year.

She had texted him earlier to meet, before realizing he was probably already busy doing something for his birthday. With Tsukishima, most likely. Turns out she was right. They were already out, so they didn’t mind coming to meet her. She felt a little guilty about interrupting, but they seemed pretty happy to see her waiting by the fountain in front of the station.

“Yachi-san! Hey!” Yamaguchi called out, running towards her. Tsukishima followed close behind, but at a much slower pace.

“Yamaguchi-kun!” Hitoka stood up from where she sat quick and held out her present, bowing her head. “Happy birthday!”

Yamaguchi paused for a moment in front of her. Hitoka dare not look up, biting her lips and staring at his shoes. The sneakers were worn out and dirty.

“F-For me?” He said. Hitoka nodded, her head still down. “Thank you!”

He took it happily. Hitoka finally looked up then, and she almost giggled. Yamaguchi looked so excited and happy, it kind of reminded her of a puppy.

“I-It’s pretty big… what is it?”

“J-Just open it and see!”

Yamaguchi sat at the fountain and unwrapped his present, staring curiously at it. It was a pinboard with a calendar, a to-do list and photos pinned over it, decorated with washi tape.

“I-It’s a 3-in-1 pinboard!”

“3-in-1 pinboard?” He repeated. Hitoka nodded.

“I made it myself… I have one of my own too,” she explained. “Um, basically, it’s like a calendar and a to-do list and a vision board!”

“Vision board?”

“Y-Yeah! It’s pictures and quotes and things that inspire you, or cheer you up, or help visualize your goals. That’s what that is, between the calendar and to-do list.”

There, pinned on the board, was a photo of a volleyball player preparing to do a serve, a photo of a dog, a photo of all the second years together, and two post-it notes, one with an inspirational quote about not giving up and the other with ‘let’s win nationals!’ written on it, both in Hitoka’s own handwriting.

“Th-Then there’s the calendar. It’s on whiteboard wall decal, so…oh yeah!” Hitoka reached into her bag and pulled out a box of markers, handing them to Yamaguchi. “Um, I got you these for it as well. But, uh, yes! The calendar! See, you can rewrite the name of the month and the dates, and there’s enough room to write important dates like birthdays and tests. But up here you got a section to write your goals for the month too! Then there’s the to-do list which is things you want to get done in the day, like homework or shopping, so you don’t forget!”

“I see!” Yamaguchi said, eyes wide as he scanned the whole pinboard.

“I-I made this for you… because you get anxious easily, like me,” Hitoka said, voice quiet. “But having one of these helped me, so I thought it might help you too. Sorry if it’s weird…”

Yamaguchi shook his head. 

“It’s not weird at all! I love it!” He grinned, big and bright. “Thanks, Yachi-san.”

Hitoka blinked and felt her cheeks redden and heart skip a beat. “Y-Yeah…”

“Tsukki, did you see what Yachi-san made me for my birthday?”

“That’s gonna be awkward to take home thought, isn’t it?” He said, making Hitoka jump. She almost forgot he was there!

“Ah, you’re right! I’m so sorry, I should have realized… I mean it was awkward enough carrying it around when it was wrapped…”

“It’s okay, we’ll just get a bag or something… what are you doing?”

Hitoka turned back to Yamaguchi to find he was already writing something on the board.

“I’m adding a new section on the bottom of the to-do list,” he said. “It’s called ‘Future goals.’”

Hitoka leaned over to take a look.

“‘Win nationals’?”

“Yup!”

Hitoka looked back at Yamaguchi, and grinned.

“Of course we will!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The present Yachi gives Yamaguchi is this here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99_PWruXtN8&feature=youtu.be  
> A friend on twitter helped me come up with it and I couldn't think of anything better, to be honest.


	13. Next Year, Our Last Year

They lost. 

They had made it to the finals and they lost. The frustration felt even worse this time around. Hitoka felt it most, especially since she got to sit on the bench this year. Watching your team play from there was exhilarating and intense, far more so than watching from the bleachers, and so, when they won, she felt the pride and joy and excitement seeping from every one of her pores, the emotional elation sending her over the moon. But when they lost, it was like she was plummeted down a cliff, and gravity somehow got more and more dense the more she fell, dragging her insides, making them heavier than usual. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she bit her trembling lip, body shaking from sobs. But when they clasped each other’s backs for comfort, and when they bit back tears to bow gratefully towards those that came to cheer them on, she felt nothing but immense pride for her boys.

They had all worked so hard, and she could be nothing but proud.

Back at the hotel, the mood was still solemn, just like it was last year. Less rowdy, less noisy. It still unnerved her.

She sat in a room with Kageyama and Hinata, who did nothing but stare intensely in front of them. Hitoka sat on one of the beds, hugging and resting her chin on her knees, staring at her socks. They were the worst when they were like this, and that’s why Hitoka decided to stay with them, so they didn’t kill each other for when they finally did burst.

She loved these two. Since joining the club, she formed a rather close bond with them pretty quickly, and somehow, they went through a lot together in such a short amount of time. From what started out as just tutoring became inspiration, encouragement and growth.

They were her best friends.

And it just dawned on her that now she only had one year left with them. Tears started forming in the corners of her eyes and she softly hiccuped, trying to keep her sobs quiet, but they both still heard. Their heads whipped around so fast in her direction, she almost thought they’d fly off.

“Yachi-san, don’t cry! We’ll win it next year! Next year!” Hinata exclaims, rushing to her side and pumping his fists. Kageyama didn’t say anything, but moved to sit next to her as well. 

Hitoka laughed through her tears, and wiped her eyes with the palm of her hands covered with her sleeves. 

“I know,” she said. “I know we will. But… it will also be… our last chance.”

Hinata hesitated, and Kageyama looked away, the heaviness of Hitoka’s words weighing on them. However, Hinata was quick to bounce back.

“That’s why we gotta win it next year. No matter what.”

Hitoka wiped her eyes again and smiled.

“Yeah.”

He smiled back. Then he turned his attention to Kageyama.

“Hey, Kageyama, you’ve been pretty quiet, aren’t you gonna say anything?” He asked. Kageyama shot him a questioning look.

“Am I supposed to say something?” He said.

“It’s just that Yachi-san was here crying and you just sat there. Don’t you think you should say something nice instead of being quiet? It’s scary Kageyama-kun. You’re scary.”

“DUMBASS!” 

Kageyama threw a pillow at him, and Hinata threw one back. Soon enough, they were constantly throwing pillows back and forth, arguing the way they do that lead Hitoka to believe they just did it for the sake of arguing.

She let out a sigh of relief. They were going to be okay. They didn’t even notice when she had left the room. She took a walk and found herself in the lobby where Akiteru and Saeko were standing together, staring out the window, mumbling something to each other. They had come, like they did last year as a group with the neighbourhood association and their own acquaintances to cheer on Karasuno at Tokyo. They must have noticed her in the reflection because they turned around to face her and smile.

“Hitoka-chan, hey,” Saeko said softly. “How you doing?”

Hitoka nods. “I’m doing okay, considering.”

“Ryuu’s been taking this pretty hard,” she said, rubbing her arms, and Akiteru rubbed her back in comfort. “It was his last year, after all. All of them are taking it pretty bad. Yuu, Chikara too… especially Chikara...”

Akiteru turned his gaze to the floor and bit his lip, his eyes flashing as if he was recalling something, a similar experience. He shook his head and quickly smiled.

“I better go check on Kei, make sure he doesn’t drown himself in the bath,” he said and with a small wave to the both of them, took the elevator up. 

“Did you want to talk, Hitoka-chan?” Saeko asked. Hitoka shook her head.

“It’s okay. I mean, I’m sad but…”

Before she knew it, Saeko had wrapped her arms around Hitoka and pulled her into an embrace. Hitoka hugged back and buried her face in Saeko’s shoulder. When she finally pulled back, Saeko smiled at her.

“Thanks, Saeko-neesan,” Hitoka said ruefully. “I think I’m just going to walk around for a bit.”

“Want me to come with you?”

Hitoka shook her head. “Thanks, but it’s okay.”

“Alright then.”

She gave Hitoka one last squeeze before Hitoka stepped inside the elevator. It wasn’t that Hitoka didn’t want company, but it was a certain someone’s company she was looking for right now. And just as she thought, she found him on the rooftop again.

“Yamaguchi-kun.”

He turned around to the call of his name. 

“Yachi-san.”

Hitoka smiled and she begun to approach him. “I thought you’d be up here.”

“If I’m going to be honest,” he said. “I came up here looking for you.”

Hitoka was taken aback a little and her heart skipped a beat. It tends to do that a lot with Yamaguchi… same with her cheeks that started to burn.

“W-Wh… I-I… y-you… I’m… u-uh, I m-mean…” stuttering was also something that happened a lot around Yamaguchi. Well, it was something she usually did anyway, but it was especially bad around him. Yamaguchi seemed to have also realized the implications of his words, and his cheeks turned bright red as he pressed his lips together and averted his eyes.

Neither of them said anything else, nor looked at each out other out of sheer nervousness. Hitoka continued to avoid Yamaguchi’s eyes as she walked towards him, until she was standing next to him by the balcony. She still avoided looking at him, and they spent many moments in silence, the cold wind blowing through their hair and clothes. It was cold and frosty, but being with Yamaguchi here somehow made it warm.

“Next year,” she finally said.

She felt Yamaguchi’s eyes on her then.

“Next year,” she repeated. “We’ll definitely win. We’ll keep working hard and we’ll win.”

“Yeah,” she heard Yamaguchi say. “Next year.”


	14. Chocolates

It was Valentine’s Day tomorrow and Hitoka was working hard in the kitchen, making chocolates. Last year she did this with Shimizu to give to all the boys in the club, but now it was just her and the work was twice as much, especially since there were even more members now than last time, even after the third years left. But it was worth it.

She put a lot of effort into the chocolates she made, especially since she spent the last week sketching designs in her notebook. Ones that looked like flowers, ones shaped like stars, even some heart shaped ones. Each club member got an equal amount of chocolate. But once she was done gift wrapping them in cute bags with cute ribbons, she noticed she still had quite a bit of ingredients left over.

She could always make some more.

Maybe something a little more special, for a special someon-

_ No, no, no, no, no! _

Hitoka shook her head. There wasn’t anyone like that! Not at all! 

And yet, a certain someone’s face appeared in her mind. Freckled, slightly angular. Wide, hazel eyes. Dark brown hair, with some strands falling over and to the sides of his face, the rest tied back in a small ponytail, and that one strand that always seems to stand on end. A friendly smile, that turned into a warm grin.

Yamaguchi Tadashi.

Hitoka felt herself flush and she grabbed onto the countertop to keep herself from tripping over herself.

There’s no way. They were close, but she doesn’t have feelings for him! Because… because… because she just doesn’t!

Doesn’t she?

Hitoka shook her head again, more furiously this time. Yamaguchi was just a friend! Her cool, kind and sweet friend. Even if she did have feelings for him, there’s no way he returned them! Besides, wasn’t there…?

Hitoka paused.

Oh yeah. He liked someone else, didn’t he?

Maybe he was hoping to get chocolates from that person tomorrow. Hitoka looked over at her leftover ingredients.

She shouldn’t get in the way.

Ignoring the heavy feeling in her heart and the wrenching in her gut, she mixed the ingredients together to make chocolates she could share with her mom instead.

The next day, she handed the chocolates out to each of the club members, one by one, after practice. Not long after nationals was over, the third-years were made to quit. They found it hard to keep away however, and would sometimes keep showing up, even though they weren’t supposed to.

No one had the heart to say no.

Before they quit, a new captain was voted for, and by the whole club’s vote, Tsukishima was made captain. He was very protestant about it at first, and probably still is, but he seemed to be slowly easing into the role. Though with the third years continuing to come back, he tended to step back and let Ennoshita take care of things.

As Hitoka handed out the chocolates, the third-years took them gratefully, Tanaka and Nishinoya moved to tears, while the first-years seemed to be clamouring to get some, excited to receive chocolates on Valentine’s Day from their manager. Hitoka was startled by their enthusiasm, almost frozen to the spot, and Ennoshita had to instill some order into them. He turned to Tsukishima for help, since he  _ was _ the new captain, but all Tsukishima did was sigh. Hitoka smiled. He was like this, but she knew, they had all voted him for a reason. He’ll become a reliable captain yet.

Once the first-years were done, Hitoka moved on to her fellow second-years. Hinata received his with his usual excitement, not even hesitating for a second to open the bag and eat one.

“They’re so good, Yachi-san!” He exclaimed, before eating some more.

“Thank you,” Hitoka laughed, handing a bag over to Kageyama, who took it with a mumbled thanks, but a face that said he really wanted those chocolates. Although Hitoka knew it was because Kageyama just wanted to eat them, not because he cared about Valentine’s Day at all. 

She handed one to Tsukishima who took it with a quiet thanks. She knew he had probably received a ton of Valentine’s chocolate today, as he did last year. He complained, but she knew he didn’t really mind. Even though he didn’t care about the girls that gave him chocolates, his sweet tooth was satisfied enough that he couldn’t really be all that annoyed. Hitoka had to stop herself from giggling. As tall as he was and with a kind of unpleasant personality to boot, Akiteru was right, he did have a rather cute side to him.

Lastly, she handed the chocolates to Yamaguchi and for some reason, she couldn’t stop her hands from shaking. She couldn’t even look him in the eye, her face heating up. 

It didn’t make sense. She didn’t feel this way when handing chocolates to the other boys. It was rather normal. So why does Yamaguchi make her feel weird? Why does he always make her feel weird?

He took it from her, his large hands covering her small ones and Hitoka could feel her brain frazzle, and then explode, like a microwave on the fritz that finally corked it. Warm like one too. Her face, her chest, and lingering on her hands from Yamaguchi’s own. She shook and when Yamaguchi said his thanks, Hitoka let out a high pitched noise in response.

She slammed her hands over her mouth and he raised his eyebrows at her, as did the rest of the club.

“Yachi-san are you okay?” Yamaguchi asked.

“Yes!” She squeaked. “J-Just fine…!”

She noticed Tsukishima was looking at her and she turned to look back. Even though his eyebrows were raised in confusion like everyone else’s, there was a knowing look in his eyes, as if he could tell what was happening to her.

But how can that be when even Hitoka had no idea what it was that happened to her whenever Yamaguchi came into the picture.

“H-Happy Valentine’s Day!” she said, raising her arms before quickly turning and walking away. It was the end of practice so no one would think it was odd if she were to grab her things and leave the gym, making her way to the change rooms, right?

Once there, she finally allowed herself to breathe, trying to calm down, hand on her chest. Handing Yamaguchi obligatory chocolates should not have made her as nervous as it did, and yet…

Hitoka sighed and started to change. She then began to wonder if he got chocolates from the one he likes. That tight feeling in her chest was back again, but Hitoka wouldn’t ask. Besides, she didn’t even know for sure. But there were hints. Even so, it’s not something she can just approach Yamaguchi about.

Not now, not ever.

If he really did like someone… well, all she could do was support him.

Even if, for some reason, it really hurt.

A month later it was White Day. Hitoka wasn’t exactly expecting anything back from everyone, but they all approached her, everyone from the club, including the third years, in groups to hand her their White Day gifts. Chocolates and packets of candy, and even her favourite fugashi.

While Hinata and Kageyama had approached her together, Tsukishima approached alone. He gave her a small tray of chocolates with different fillings (an expensive brand, she noticed too) and when she asked where Yamaguchi was, he just told her he’d give her his White Day chocolate later.

But the day went on and Yamaguchi never did. She couldn’t help herself from continuously glancing at her class door, and at the clock, and even back the pen he had given her in her hand, waiting for when Yamaguchi would walk through and ask for her. Hand her his chocolates as thanks for the Valentine’s ones she gave him, as was tradition. But even by the time class was over, he didn’t come.

She saw him at club activities and she tried her hardest not to look at him too expectantly, too often. It was hard though, since she was in so much anticipation. Though it wasn’t like he could give it to her during training, anyway. Still, when she left the change rooms to make her way home, Yamaguchi was nowhere to be seen.

She was a little disappointed, to say the least.

Until she heard small voices from a distance.

“Tsukki, I can’t… I’m too nervous…”

“It’s just obligatory though, isn’t it? She gave you obligatory chocolates on Valentine’s Day, so you return the favour.”

“I-I know but… the fact they were obligatory…”

She heard a sigh, and then Yamaguchi started shouting protests at Tsukki. There was also the sound of dragging footsteps, as if someone was being pushed around. Hitoka didn’t dare turn around. She didn’t want them to know she was eavesdropping. Not that she had meant to, but still. When Yamaguchi was suddenly at her side, she acted surprise, like she never knew he was close by to begin with, nor was she expecting him.

“Yamaguchi-kun!”

“Y-Yachi-san! H-Hey,” he said. “Here.”

He held out a box wrapped in plain wrapping, with a red ribbon on top.

“O-Oh, thank you…!” Hitoka took it from him, trying not to be  _ too _ happy that he finally gave her his White Day gift.

“S-See you tomorrow,” and with a wave, Yamaguchi quickly walked away.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow!” Hitoka called out.

She looked at the box in her hand and wasted no time in opening it. Inside was hand-wrapped chocolates that seemed a little off-shape and a scrunchie, a pretty, light blue one with falling strands, all different lengths with silver stars at the ends.

Hitoka wore it the very next day.


	15. Confess The Truth

Hitoka couldn’t help but notice the difference in being a third-year now. She was the ultimate senior now, with two grades below and none above. It felt like the responsibility of being a reliable senior was constantly on her shoulders, and while she’s not opposed to helping out her juniors, it was unnerving to see some first-years who were bigger than her (in more ways than one too, Hitoka thinks, looking down at her chest.)

On one hand, she felt like a clumsy and nervous-wreck of a girl like her wasn’t fit to be a third-year. But on the other hand, she liked the feeling that she was more grown up than ever now.

As a third-year, she only had one year left of her high school life. One year left to make it count, to do the things she couldn’t do before, to grow in ways she never has before. One year left to help her team make it to nationals, one year left to tell  _ him _ how she really feels…

Hitoka shakes her head.

No, no, no. How she really feels? Like, I enjoy being your friend and I hope we stay friends even after graduation, right? Haha, yeah. Right.

Because having feelings for Yamaguchi Tadashi would be troublesome, since he already likes someone else.

But maybe Hitoka could find someone this year? They say dating is part of the high school experience, but Hitoka was a third-year now and has hardly experienced any romance. Maybe this year, it’ll be different! She’s more grown up, more confident.

Which is precisely why she’s standing there shaking as a boy starts telling her he thinks she’s rather cute and he’s sorta been watching her for a while and wondering if she’d like to date?

This… this is impossible!

Even though they had won the Inter-high nationals and now the volleyball club was getting more attention than ever, Hitoka always thought she’d still have to fight to get noticed. She never expected a guy to come and ask to talk to her during lunch break, then taking her somewhere quiet to confess.

She had panicked for a second, thinking he was gonna kidnap or murder her. Or maybe planned on locking her in one of the storerooms or clubrooms. Maybe he was gonna torture her for class notes, or lunch money. A thousand paranoid imaginings popped into her head, but she never imagined he’d turn to look right at her, face red, and tell her these things.

Her mouth went dry, her hands shook, and she couldn’t look away. Her heart started beating fast out of sheer nervousness. She didn’t want to. She barely knew this guy. While she’s flattered, she doesn’t really want to go out with him. But she also didn’t want to hurt him and break his heart. He continuously stared at her, waiting for an answer, but all Hitoka could do was stammer and tremble.

He eyes darted around the room, looking for some kind of escape, when she caught Yamaguchi’s face, who seemed to have just been walking by and accidentally witnessed this scene. The boy noticed him too. Yamaguchi looked surprised, then bowed his apologies, turning on his heel and walking away quickly, disappearing behind the wall.

“Y-Yamaguchi-kun, wait!” Hitoka exclaimed, running past the boy who had confessed. She didn’t mean to leave him behind like that and without an answer too, especially to chase after another boy, but she didn’t want Yamaguchi to get the wrong idea or anything! I mean, yes, it was exactly what it looked like, but it wasn’t like she was going to accept or anything!

“Yamaguchi-kun!” Hitoka cried again as she noticed his back in front of her, getting closer and she reached out to touch it. It landed in the middle, pressed against his gakuran, and it was warm. Hitoka’s heart skipped a beat as she noticed, only briefly before Yamaguchi turned around to face her, that his back seemed bigger than ever. Somehow more broader, more taller.

“Yachi-san,” he said, eyebrows raised. Then he looked away guiltily. “S-Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt…”

Hitoka shook her head. “I wasn’t going to accept!”

“Huh?”

“I wasn’t going to accept and return his feelings!” Hitoka repeated, loud and clear to make sure Yamaguchi understood.

He nodded. “O-Okay. Okay, but…”

“S-So… D-Don’t tell the others I have a boyfriend or anything,” Hitoka added nervously with a forced laugh. Yamaguchi rubbed the back of his neck and continued to avert his eyes. 

“I just… didn’t want to interrupt because it’d be rude. It was bad enough I walked in on it by accident. Sorry.”

“O-Oh…”

“You didn’t have to rush to tell me right away, it’s none of my business, y’know…” he seemed kind of sad, but Hitoka was distracted by how flushed her face feels right now. He was right. Hitoka had no idea why she felt compelled to run after him to tell him she had no interest in that guy. She could have just told him what happened after. But for someone, she just had to let him know.

Had to let him know she didn’t accept another boy’s feelings, because she already has feelings for…

_ Oh. _

Hitoka buried her face in her hands.

“I’m so sorry, I’m such an idiot, goodbye,” she mumbled into her hands and ran off. She heard Yamaguchi call for her to wait, but she ignored him.

How foolish she has been these last three years.

She ran back to where she had left that boy, only to find he wasn’t there anymore. She must have hurt him bad, running after another boy despite not giving him an answer. Maybe that was her answer all along.

She slumped and shuffled her way back to class, barely lifting her head. She slid onto her seat and hid her face in her arms, groaning. She was an absolute idiot. She couldn’t even look at Yamaguchi in the eye later at club activities.

The next day, the boy approached her in class during break. Hitoka froze up again, not sure what to say, knowing she should apologize, but she was just too nervous. Until he opened his mouth to speak.

“Sorry,” he said. 

Hitoka blinked, letting it register. 

Then she shook her head and waved her hands frantically.

“No, no, no, no, I’m the one who should be sorry!” She said.

“No. I am. Because I always thought that maybe you had feelings for Yamaguchi from class 4, but I decided to confess anyway, in the hopes that you didn’t,” he explained. Hitoka watched him as he continued. “I probably only just made it hard for you. So, sorry.”

Hitoka looked down, fretting.  “No, I’m sorry. I should have given you a proper answer.”

“In a way, you did and I should have known. It was hard not to see, to be honest.”

She bit her lip, not really sure how to respond, but the boy then bowed and said his goodbyes. As he was about to walk away she called him to wait.

“Thank you,” she said.

He nodded, and then left the classroom.

For some reason, at this point, she couldn’t even deny what the boy had said. The fact it was so obvious to him and yet, Hitoka could never admit it until now, despite everything.

Despite getting so nervous around him she could barely function, despite her heart skipping beats, or picking up rapid pace. Despite her eyes always landing on his tall figure and watching from afar, despite the pains in her chest at the idea he liked someone else. Despite the group study sessions together where she’d sit next to him and watch his face contort with concentration instead of getting any work done. Despite the nights hugging her stuffed toys in bed and staring at the ceiling, thinking about him. 

Despite everything he makes her feel or do, she couldn’t admit the truth.

The truth that she was in love with Yamaguchi Tadashi.


	16. What To Do?

Hitoka spent the next few months being the most diligent manager she could possibly be. This had included recruiting a first-year manager to take over when she graduates. This first-year girl was taller than her, less clumsy and nervous than she was, but she still looked to Hitoka for guidance. Even though she’s completely different to Hitoka, she can’t help but be reminded of who she used to be when she was a first-year. It was strange being on the other side now. She had become Shimizu-senpai, while this first-year was the next Yachi Hitoka. 

But despite how much she tried to distract herself with the club and her duties, as well as the increase of schoolwork and talks about her future plans and university entrance exams and all of that stuff, her thoughts ultimately always led to Yamaguchi.

She’d watch him without meaning to, or he’d come into her mind in class, and her brain and heart would go into overdrive, making her unable to think of anything else. It was worse than before, now that she finally realized she was in love. Probably for the reason that she realized and now she had to take the next steps.

_ Confess to him, _ one part of her would try to convince her.

_ No, wait until he confesses to you! _ Another would say.

_ But what if he never does? _

_ But doesn’t he like someone else? What if you get rejected… _

_ You don’t know for sure that he does like someone else, right? _

_ What if the someone else he likes… is you? _

_ But what if it isn’t… _

This internal conflict would go on and on, without ever reaching a conclusion, and it went on for days, weeks, months, right up until the Spring High. 

_ I’ll confess to him after we win!  _ Hitoka convinced herself.

They won. Everyone celebrated. It was the perfect moment, while everyone was so elated, confess to him in the heat of the moment. She ran to Yamaguchi, arms spread. 

_ Do it. Just like in shoujo manga. Run into his arms out of celebration. He’ll be so happy, he’ll lift you up and spin you around. And that’s when you’ll confess. “I like you, Yamaguchi-kun!” You’ll say. He’ll stop, surprised. Then smile and say, “I like you too, Yachi-san!” A spur-of-the-moment confession so you don’t have to think about it. Do it.  _

Though was it really spur-of-the-moment if she did think about it and planned it?

The more she went over it in her head, the more nervous and flustered she became and instead turned her hug towards Hinata before Yamaguchi even realized she was running towards him. Hinata of course returned the hug enthusiastically, lifting her up and laughing. Hitoka laughed too, her worries almost completely forgotten. Hinata had that effect. Although, once he put her down and let go, her eyes automatically go to Yamaguchi, who was laughing and cheering with Tsukishima. Then suddenly, his eyes caught hers and he seemed to light up, but Hitoka, in her nervousness, suddenly looked away and high-fived the first-years instead. Looking over her shoulder, she noticed Yamaguchi’s back was turned to her. She bit her lip.

What was she supposed to do now?


	17. No More Running Away

Sundays were the only days she was completely free from school and club activities and usually she’d make the most of it. Not a second was spent wasted. She’d make up a schedule and follow it, making sure things got done and on time. But today, on this particular Sunday, she had no schedule. No plans, no anything.

She just sat on her bed and hugged one of her stuffed animals, staring at nothing in particular while thinking about  _ him. _

And then occasionally groaning into the stuffed animal for being such an idiot.

Maybe the reason why confessing to Yamaguchi was so hard, maybe the reason why it took her so long to realize in the first place, was because she didn’t feel worthy of a boy like Yamaguchi Tadashi.

He was kind and sweet and loyal and tall and cool and so many great things, that there’s no way he’d ever look at someone like Hitoka as more than a friend. Heck, he’d sooner be in love with Tsukishima before even noticing her. It’s not something she’d rule out definitely.

God, sometimes she wonders if she should ask her mother for advice, but she knew that either whatever advice she gives her, Hitoka won’t be able to follow it or she’d scold Hitoka for feeling so insecure about a boy. Honestly, she wants to scold herself sometimes too.

She sighs, when her phone vibrating on her nightstand startled her out of her thoughts, making her shriek. Once she calmed down, she picked up her phone and checked. She got a message from Tsukishima… asking to meet? Apparently he has something he needs to talk to her about.

Maybe it was about the club. He was the captain after all, and Hitoka was the manager. Then again, anything about the club wasn’t something they couldn’t just discuss over the phone. But the tone of his message made Hitoka think that this was something more serious. She agreed to meet and waited for him where he told her to. Her heart started beating fast, nervous in anticipation. Somehow, she knew exactly what it was he wanted to talk about, but she couldn’t admit it. Probably because she didn’t want to talk about it at all. Running away wouldn’t help anything, but sometimes these things are just too scary to face.

She hadn’t the courage.

And yet, she was brave enough to agree to meet with Tsukishima, and brave enough to wait for him and brave enough to not run in the opposite direction when he approached her and brave enough not to bail out once they started walking.

Although Tsukishima had wanted to talk, he didn’t say much, or anything at all. He just stared ahead, mouth closed. Hitoka looked at him. To anyone else, he was probably unreadable, but to Hitoka, who got to know him these last 3 years, she could tell he was concentrating on something really hard. Probably on how to talk to Hitoka about whatever it was he wanted to talk about. Tsukishima was clever, and had a quick wit and a sharp-tongue, but when it came to talking about anything deep and personal, like feelings, or problems, he always struggled to find the words. Hitoka wondered if he was going over what to say to her in his head since he texted her. Probably even before that.

She followed him to a park, where he made his way over to the playground, surprisingly empty for a Sunday afternoon. He sat down on one of the swings and Hitoka sat on the other. Silence continued to fill the space between them, and Hitoka started swinging a little, her feet grazing the bark, while Tsukishima ever so slightly twisted the swing side to side, his feet flat on the ground, his legs too long to dangle like Hitoka’s did.

Then he finally sighed.

“This is getting ridiculous,” he said, voice deadpan. Hitoka stopped swinging and turned her head to look at him. “It’s been  _ so  _ frustrating, watching the two of you.”

Hitoka pursed her lips. She had the feeling she knew who he was talking about.

“Yamaguchi is an idiot, did you know that? If he had confessed to you while we were still first-years, then we wouldn’t have to be here right now.”

Hitoka’s eyes went wide and she almost fell off her swing.

“W-w-what do y-you mean confess?” She stammered, hands shaking. Tsukishima looked at her, expression unwavering.

“I mean he likes you, Yachi-san,” he said seriously. “He likes you a lot. Since we were first-years.”

Hitoka felt like her heart was gonna leap out of her mouth and take her stomach with it, but they got caught in her throat and she could feel her pulse racing, her face growing hot and cold sweat forming on her palms. Her brain became fuzzy and she must have forgotten how to breathe because suddenly, she was dizzy and everything around her started to blur.

“N-No way, that’s impossible… that’s…” she was barely able to mutter, and Tsukishima just sighed in response.

“You’re an idiot, too,” he said, frowning. “I bet you still don’t realize you like him back.”

“No, I…!” Hitoka began to shout but then stopped herself, pulling back and staring at her feet. “No, I’ve realized,” she said, voice soft and quiet.

“Then, confess to him.”

“W-What?”

“Confess, because he won’t do it.”

“B-But I…”

“Look,” Tsukishima took off his glasses to rub his eyes. He put them back on before continuing. “Yamaguchi is cool. He wasn’t always, but since we’ve been in high school, he’s gotten really cool.”

Hitoka presses her lips together. “Yeah, he is really cool.”

“Since we were kids, he’s always been rather timid, and just followed me around, going along with whatever I was doing. But now I’m seeing a different side to him. He’s grown. He’s not that little kid anymore. He is, however, still my friend.”

Tsukishima started to push at the swing, swaying back and forth ever so slightly. “I… I want him to be happy…”

His voice was uncharacteristically soft and it made Hitoka watch him with sorry eyes. She knew Tsukishima cared for his friend greatly, even if to others who didn’t know him it might not look like it, and her heart started to ache.

“But, as much as he’s grown… for as confident he’s become in his own abilities and talking to others… he’s still insecure and psyches himself out when it comes to you.”

Hitoka didn’t say anything, letting Tsukishima continue.

“Remember that pinboard you gave him for his birthday?”

Hitoka nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

“Did you know he wrote  _ ‘Confess to Yachi-san’ _ in the ‘Monthly goals’ section, and on the to-do list, as well as the ‘Future goals’ section he made?”

Hitoka blinked, taken aback at this new information.

“He never erased them. And yet, despite that, he’s never once worked up the courage to ask you out. There were times he came close, but no matter how much I tried to encourage him, he couldn’t do it. Instead he got himself a girlfriend he didn’t even like, thinking he could just get over you that way.” He suddenly looked at her, eyes piercing and it made Hitoka jump a little and gulp. “That’s why you have to be the one to confess.”

“But… I can’t…” Hitoka mutters, looking down and avoiding Tsukishima’s eye.

“Why? I already told you, he likes you. So you don’t have to be afraid of rejection.”

Hitoka didn’t answer back, just bit her lip. 

“Fine. Whatever.”

Tsukishima stood up from the swing.

“I did all I could, but if you two want to keep playing around, then whatever. Though I think I finally get why Yamaguchi lost courage in confessing to you. It’s your mixed signals.”

“Huh?”

He turned and looked down on her and Hitoka felt intimidated. Standing next to Tsukishima was always a little unnerving, but he never once forced his intimidation tactics against her. But he’s doing it now and she felt frightened. He'd never hurt her, she knew that, but if looks could kill...

“You’ve been confusing him, and yourself no doubt.”

She whimpered quietly.

“You know, I like you. Out of all the crushes Yamaguchi’s had in the past, you’re the only one I actually liked. The only one I thought worthy of him.”

Then suddenly, he eased up, and his expression softened.

“Please don’t let me be wrong about you.”

He actually sounded rather sad, and if Hitoka listened closely enough, she could hear hints of desperation as well. If he was more emotionally expressive, she’d probably see tears in his eyes. There were definitely tears in her own. Tsukishima had come to her and talked to her about things he’s not exactly comfortable talking about, all because he cared for his friend immensely. Hitoka hadn’t realized, if what Tsukishima was saying was true, that she was inadvertently hurting Yamaguchi. She honestly never meant to, but she let her insecurities and anxiety get in the way again and while it’s one thing for it to hurt her, it’s a another thing altogether when it actually  _ hurts _ someone she cares about. Yamaguchi didn’t deserve that.

And neither did Tsukishima.

He turned to leave, having nothing left to say anymore. Hitoka jumped up and called after him.

“Tsukishima-kun!”

He turned to look at her over his shoulder.

She wasn’t going to let her insecurities hurt others anymore, and she’s not gonna let them hurt her either.

“I’ll confess to Yamaguchi-kun! I’ll do it, I promise!” She declared, her voice echoing through the park, the trees as her witness as the wind carries her words through them. There was a beat, a moment of silence where Tsukishima just looked at her.

Then he smiled. A soft one at first, but then it formed into a grin.

Hitoka smiled back proudly, feeling courage gather at the pit of her stomach that was never there before. A smile like that from Tsukishima was a rare sight, and if her promise was able to bring it out of him, then she knew she could do it.

He turned back around and waved his hand, gesturing her to follow him.

“Come on. At least let me buy you something to eat.”

She grinned and ran to his side.

He suddenly pat her head affectionately, briefly, without really looking at her and Hitoka giggled.

She knew now, there was no more running away.


	18. A Second Big Decision

From the moment she woke up the next day, she had psyched herself up. Yesterday she told Tsukishima she’d confess to Yamaguchi and she decided there was no point in waiting any longer. It had to be today. If she put it off, who knows how long it will take? Might was well do it while she still had the courage. But once she got to school, she realized, finding the right time to actually confess proved pretty difficult.

She couldn’t do it during morning training, nor by the shoe lockers where there were people around. The breaks between classes were too short as well. Lunch would have been ideal, except now that they were heading to nationals, lunch time was taken up by training too and she definitely couldn’t during club activities.

But that doesn’t mean she gave up.

She still had one last opportunity.

After changing back into her uniform and buttoning up her coat, she told her junior to go ahead without her and ran to the boys change rooms to wait outside. They always took a little longer than she did, mostly because they messed around in there.

Soon enough, the door opened. Her fellow club members poured out, talking excitedly and didn’t seem to notice her there. She watched and waited and when he finally walked out with Tsukishima, Hitoka quickly called to him.

“Yamaguchi-kun!” Somehow her voice was breathless, but that was probably due to her heart beating so fast like she had run 10 laps around a train station.

“Oh, Yachi-san,” Yamaguchi replied, facing her. “What is it?”

“Um, do you…” Hitoka took in a deep breath and steeled herself. “D-Do you wanna w-walk home t-t-together!?”

She felt her face grow hotter and she knew it must be as red as a tomato right about now, but she stood her ground, looking Yamaguchi in the eye. He looked surprised, taking half a step back, and his cheeks turned red as well. He stammered as he glanced back between Hitoka and Tsukishima, probably torn on what to do, or confused at the very least.

Hitoka knew the other club members within earshot had heard and were now clamouring to see what was going, but she ignored them. She could also tell Tsukishima was looking at her, but all she looked at was Yamaguchi. She can’t falter now. However, she did notice him smile from the corner of her eye and he swiftly turned on his heel and walked away.

“You kids have fun,” he said in his usual deadpan voice.

“W-Wait, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi protested.

“What’s the matter,” Tsukishima turned to look at Yamaguchi over his shoulder. “You don’t want to walk Yachi-san home?”

“Th-that’s not…”

“I’ll be fine,” he said with an amused tone. “Walk the lady home, Yamaguchi. You’re a man, aren’t you?”

Yamaguchi doesn’t respond to that. The other club members, however, did, cheering and whooping and shouting their encouragements to Yamaguchi. Tsukishima, with the air of intimidation and authority that comes with being the captain, glared at his juniors and Hinata who were causing a ruckus and they immediately shut up and scurried away. Tsukishima turned back to Hitoka and Yamaguchi one more time and smiled, a knowing smile, directed at the both of them and with a wave before sliding his headphones on, Tsukishima walked away for good.

“U-Um… I’ll walk you home then, Yachi-san,” Yamaguchi said softly, averted his eyes while scratching his cheek. Hitoka nodded and soon, they were walking down the street, side-by-side. The early December air was chilling, but when Hitoka could feel her shoulder brush with Yamaguchi’s arm, her face lit up enough to warm her entire body. They made casual small talk, but it was mostly silent between the two.

This was it, she told herself.

She had to do it now. 

Although somehow, all the courage she had gathered seemed to have slithered out somehow, perhaps pushed away by the insane nervousness that being near Yamaguchi makes her feel. But she couldn’t wimp out now. Not after everything, not after she promised Tsukishima, and not after how determined she’s been all day. Balling her hands into small fists, she finds a way to gather her courage again, and finally speaks up.

“Yamaguchi-kun, I have something to tell you!”

Yamaguchi stops and turns, facing her with a look of surprise and confusion. “Wh-what is it, Yachi-san?”

Looking into his eyes made her falter for a moment, made her heart pound so hard she could feel it in her throat, pushing her voice far, far down into the pit of her stomach. She looked down for a moment, pulling herself together and then looked back up.

Yamaguchi was tall. Taller now than he’s ever been and from where Hitoka looked up at him, he looked like he was standing against the night sky, the moon shining behind, illuminating him, like the mountains in the distance. Except he was close, right in front of her and to reach him, all she had to do was hold out her hand and touch him. A beautiful mountain, standing tall and majestic, looking down at the valley, barren and plain, not a single flower in bloom.

And yet, he still looked at her like that, a way Hitoka couldn’t describe with words, but she somehow recognized it. She recognized it because it was the same way she was looking at Yamaguchi right now, the same way she has always looked at Yamaguchi. 

She never doubted Tsukishima, he wasn’t the type to make things up, but now she knew for sure.

All she had to do was speak up.

“Yamaguchi-kun, I like you!”

She shouted, loud enough for her voice to echo, to let the cold December wind carry it to the mountains in the distance, for it to surround them, repeating over and over again in their heads, in their hearts, resonating and circling. Yamaguchi’s eyes went wide, and although Hitoka was embarrassed, she dared not look away. Her brow was creased, her lips pressed together and trembling, and her cheeks so hot Hitoka would believe it if someone told her they were in the middle of summer.

“Y-Yachi-san, I…” Yamaguchi began, but Hitoka was quick to interrupt.

“I like you!” She repeated.

“I-I…”

“I LIKE YOU!” She wasn’t sure why she was repeating it over and over whenever Yamaguchi opened his mouth to say something. Maybe because she was afraid of his response, even after knowing for sure he feels the same way. Maybe she was afraid she was wrong, that Tsukishima was wrong all along. Afraid that 3 years worth of feelings didn’t mean anything.

“Yachi-san…!”

“I LIKE YOU, YAMAGUCHI-KU-”

“I LIKE YOU TOO!”

Hitoka’s voice caught in her throat and she took a step back, swallowing. She didn’t think her face could get anymore flushed but it somehow did, and her brain went fuzzy… no, it was mush at this point. Mush, barely able to function and so she thought the best way to respond to Yamaguchi’s own response was to respond with more shouting.

“I’VE LIKED YOU FOR A LONG TIME!”

“M-ME TOO!” Yamaguchi said, his face just as red as Hitoka’s own. “I LIKE YOU, YACHI-SAN!”

“I LIKE YOU, TOO!”

“I DIDN’T THINK YOU…!”

“I DIDN’T THINK YOU DID EITHER…!”

“I’VE WANTED TO TELL YOU FOR A LONG TIME!”

“I’M SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO SAY ANYTHING!”

It was like they couldn’t stop, unable to calm down from their nerves and so shouting was the only thing they could do. Hitoka has no doubt they’ve alarmed some passers-by, probably even scared some, very reminiscent of the time they first spent Christmas together. She could hear some giggling and cooing as well, but she ignored them. Thinking about it would just fluster her even more, and she’s sure if she got any more flustered than she already is, she’d die. Collapse into the snow and melt away and die, with the only thing left to remember her by the scarf she was wearing. Yamaguchi would clutch at it and cry and about their lost chance, regretting not saying anything sooner. A bittersweet love story with no happy ending.

But instead of that, they stood there, looking at each other, panting breathlessly. Then suddenly, they both began to laugh. Hitoka wasn’t sure why they were, probably because it dawned on the both of them how stupid they’ve been the last 3 years, how they wasted time fretting over their insecurities, denying how they felt, instead of just listening to their hearts the whole time. They laughed hard enough there were tears in their eyes, and Yamaguchi wiped at them with a gloved finger as he started to calm down.

“I’m… I’m so glad you like me…!” He said, his voice breathless but ecstatic.

“M-Me too,” Hitoka nodded.

“All this time… I’ve been so stupid…”

“So have I…”

They look at each other and smile, one that was both apologetic and relieved. It felt like a great weight that she hadn’t even noticed was lifted off her shoulders and Hitoka felt so much lighter, the lightest she’s been in 3 years and she swears she could almost float off, the cold wind taking her with it. But she didn’t, Yamaguchi’s eyes keeping her grounded. Although nothing helped the swirl of happiness in her stomach that made her want to run and laugh and spin around until she was dizzy, but since she didn’t do any of that, the swirl just grew stronger and faster and it felt like she was going to throw up.

Is it possible to throw up out of happiness?

Hitoka doesn’t really want to find out, so she speaks up instead.

“S-So, does this mean… we’re dating now?” She asked.

Yamaguchi raised his eyebrows, and then, for some reason, his expression fell and he turned to face the ground, biting his lip. Hitoka’s heart stopped for a moment. What did that mean?

“I… I’d really like to, but…” he muttered. “Nationals is so close and we… we should probably focus on that first…”

“Oh…” Hitoka looked down at her shoes and she dug one of her feet into the snow. She felt tears well up in her eyes again, but not because of laughter. “You’re… you’re right… sorry, my timing was bad…”

Yamaguchi shakes his head. “It’s okay. When nationals is over, we can date properly. That is, if you still want to?”

He chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his head. Hitoka looked up at him and nodded hastily.

“I want to,” she said. “I really do.”

Yamaguchi smiled a smile that reached his eyes, brimming with happiness.

“Okay,” he said. “But for now, I can at least walk you home.”

Hitoka laughed. “Okay.”

They walked side-by-side, not really saying much to each other, except their goodbyes and see you tomorrows when they reached outside Hitoka’s apartment complex. The warmth Hitoka felt never left her body, even as she fell asleep, even as she woke up. Even as the freezing cold air blew through her body and sent shivers down her spine. Even as she exchanged small smiles with Yamaguchi during club activities the whole week, the whole month. It was like a furnace had been lit inside her, and nothing could ever put it out, forever burning, making her feel a happiness she’s never felt before, but one she didn’t want to never feel again.

She just made the second biggest decision of her life and just like the first, it was the best decision she could have ever made. 


	19. Thank You

They had won.

They won nationals.

Finally.

They did it.

Three years in the making, and now, they were the champions. The crows had flew higher than anyone else and now they were on top. Hitoka cheered, tears in her eyes, as ecstatic as she’ll ever be. The thrill of winning had overtaken everyone on Karasuno and their side, the cheers from the stands loud and proud and wild. Her teammates screamed in victory, hugging each other and lifting the other up. They even lifted her up, and at any other time she would have freaked out from the height, but the adrenaline pumping through her veins had her not caring, the only thing important now is cheering with her team. Even watching as Tsukishima and Hinata held the trophy, The captain and the ace, the ones they called “The Clever Blocker” and “The Small Giant,” caused her to cry proudly. She never thought she’d be able to experience something like this in her life and yet, it’s what she’s worked hard towards these last three years. She knew Shimizu-senpai, who was watching somewhere in the audience with their other seniors, was probably crying to herself as well, proud of her alma mater and proud of Hitoka. Hitoka knew she’d have to give her a big hug afterwards and thank her for everything. If it weren’t for her acknowledging a plain, Villager B like her in the first place, then Hitoka would never have experienced something as incredible as this.

A celebratory feast was held, and Hitoka had never seen so many boys excited to eat at once, save for the barbeques at the training camps. But then again, she couldn’t really blame them. Their after tournament meals had usually been when they lost, and it was hard to swallow food when you’re also swallowing tears. But when you’re happy, still living the thrill of victory, even eating was just as exciting, like an award, the feast a prize for their hard efforts that they actually felt they deserved this time around.

Although Shimizu and Saeko had joined her, sitting either side of her and distracting her with their conversation, Hitoka still managed to glance across the table and catch Yamaguchi’s eye. They exchanged small, shy smiles, until Akiteru had shoved a piece of meat in Yamaguchi’s face, telling him to eat it since his fussy little brother won’t.

Of course, the celebratory mood hardly faded when they got back to the hotel. The adults had left to go victory drinking, and so that left the third-years as the authority figures and since they didn’t lose this time, Tsukishima didn’t hide in the bath like he usually did. Instead, he had a great time intimidating any of his juniors that got too rowdy. As vice captain however, Yamaguchi had a much more kinder, yet passive-aggressive approach to controlling the ‘problem children.’

Hinata and Kageyama were useless though.

Hitoka did her best, but she mostly just stayed with the first-year manager, giggling to each other about the boys running amok. Eventually the mood died down a bit, and everyone went their separate ways, hanging out in their hotel rooms or by the lobby. The adults were still at the bar, although Hitoka had heard Akiteru was already passed out, and so Tsukishima had to come and have Takeda help take him to his room. She caught them in the hallway after she had grabbed her coat and left her room, telling her junior she’d be back soon. 

Tsukishima told her apparently it was because Saeko had challenged him to a drinking competition, and since Akiteru, despite his sweet demeanor, had quite the competitive side, he didn’t back down when he should have (which, since it is Saeko, should have been the moment she challenged him.) And yes, Saeko was still standing proud and strong, laughing and full of alcohol. Unlike his brother who, despite his height and body mass, was quite the lightweight.

“Poor Akiteru-san,” Hitoka said with a giggle.

“Poor me, more like it,” Tsukishima said with a sigh, adjusting Akiteru’s arm on his shoulder and lifting him up more. Takeda had smiled and chuckled at that, adjusting Akiteru’s position as well. Akiteru’s head then lolled to the side and rested on Tsukishima’s shoulder, before letting out a big snore. “Ugh, honestly, Nii-chan…”

With one last giggle at the scene in front of her, Hitoka waved. 

“I’ll see you around,” she said and walked past.

“Oh, Yachi-san,” Tsukishima called after her and Hitoka turned.

“Yes?”

“If you’re looking for Yamaguchi, I think he went to the roof. For some ‘fresh air,’ he said.”

“R-Right,” Hitoka blushed. She was too embarrassed to say that that’s where she knew Yamaguchi would be already and that was where she was making her way. “Thank you.”

She turned on her heel and left, climbing the stairs until she had made it to the roof, shivering at the frosty wind she had expected at this point. The figure standing by the balcony was the one she expected too, but instead of calling out to him this time, she quietly approached until she stood by his side.

“So,” she begun.

“So,” he repeated.

“Um…”

Yamaguchi looked to the side as a reflex. “D-Did you still want…?”

“Yes,” Hitoka said. She didn’t even have to think about it.

“Oh. Okay. Then, can I take you on a date once we’re back in Miyagi?”

“O-Of course.”

“Okay.”

Silence fell between them as they watched the by-now familiar scenery before them, twinkling lights from the buildings looking like magic behind the frost, a distant, wonderful world that belonged to Hitoka and Yamaguchi.

“Um, Yamaguchi-kun,” she started again, teeth worrying her lips. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I took so long to tell you how I felt.”

“Me too,” was all Yamaguchi replied, but Hitoka shook her head.

“No, I mean… I mean it’s because… we only have a little over 2 months before we graduate. If I hadn’t been stupid, we could have had more time together, in high school.”

Yamaguchi chuckled. “It’s okay, we still have all the time in the world, right?”

“But what about university and stuff like that?”

“We’ll work it out. I just want to be with you, Yachi-san. I want to be your… b-b… boyfriend…” his voice faded out of embarrassment and Hitoka felt her own cheeks light up again.

“M-Me too. I want to be your g-girlfriend…” Hitoka said, and her heartbeat picked up pace.

“Then… we’ll work something out, won’t we?”

Yamaguchi turned his head to look at her and Hitoka looked back. A smile spread across her lips, before it formed into a bright and confident grin.

“Of course we will. After everything that’s happened, we have to try.”

Yamaguchi grinned back. “Yeah.”

They turned back to the scenery before them, and somehow, subconsciously, their hands found each other. Once Hitoka realized, she became flustered and started to tremble, but she didn’t want to let go. His hand was warm and large and covered most of hers. Rough and calloused too, from all the volleyball. It was a strange feeling, but a good feeling. New, but still somehow familiar.

If Hitoka considered herself a barren valley before, she definitely didn’t feel like one now. Flowers had bloomed all over, a mixture of pretty and bright colours against a pasture of green, blooming towards the sky, all across the valley, right up to where it meets with with the bottom of the beautiful and majestic mountain that stood above her.

“Thank you, Yachi-san,” she heard Yamaguchi’s voice say.

Hitoka smiled. “Thank you, Yamaguchi-kun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it is! My longest fic ever, by miles. I hope it meets the recipients expectations, and I hoped others enjoyed this too! The fic itself is a 45 page long document but when I broke it up into chapters by scenes, they all seemed rather short. I was a little nervous about it, but I think, in a way, it's part of the charm. That is, if my fic is charming, haha.  
> It was really enjoyable doing something like this, even though it took me so long. But it was worth it. Completing something this long and having people enjoy it is worth it. This was my first time participating in HQ Hols but I want to participate again next time!  
> Thank you for reading, and I hope you all enjoyed!


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